Between Love & Hate
by asdfghjklb
Summary: Elena's best friend, Caroline, was cheated on by Damon Salvatore so Elena and Caroline hatch a plan to hurt Damon just as bad as he hurt Caroline. What happens when Elena starts to fall for him while she is supposed to be messing with his head? AU.
1. All the rest is predictable

_** "There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not."**_

_**Francois de La Rochefoucauld**_

Elena POV

"Damon, that's your name right? You see there is something that is really, really, really annoying me about you." I stood in front of the ridiculously hot guy that has been eyeing me this whole time ever since I walked into the bar. If I was being honest, I was eyeing him back with flirty glances. Neither of us actually approached each other till now. At first I got a little giddy at the thought of a distraction. The only reason my friend Bonnie and I were here was to forget about the asshole guys that have recently broken our hearts but here I was now, fighting with flirty eye guy himself. Probably, if I wasn't in such a delicate stage after my recent break up I wouldn't have been this aware of how full of himself this guy was.

"And what is that?" His cocky voice just added fuel to my fire. He didn't actually do anything wrong but I was having my ups and downs lately, and for some reason I felt like I had to take all my aggression out on him, just because he was a confident guy, who was obviously a player. He flirted and almost had me hooked till I realized what exactly was happening. Maybe because I felt like I was played myself from the last guy I dated was the reason his smoldering gaze suddenly didn't affect me anymore. It was almost like a sudden blast of anger came over me and I wanted to put him in his place.

"I have to admit, when I first saw you, I did want it but now I'm realizing something. You are sickeningly hot, but don't you just know it." He quirked an eyebrow as if he was expecting something like that.

"Darling, that's just part of my charm."

"You're charm sucks. Charming guys suck. Therefore; you suck." I said while crossing my arms and glaring at him. I must admit I was taking a little too much out on just a stranger. I guess I didn't how angry I was till now. "I would never be interested in you."

"I don't even give a fuck, I have a girlfriend anyways." I watched as he nonchalantly poured the rest of his drink down his throat and gave me a wicked smirk. He had girlfriend... I didn't think it was possible for this guy to be a bigger ass till now. We were heavily flirting not only a couple minutes ago and I thought it was actually going somewhere and I know he did too by his body language. He had a girlfriend this whole time!

"Oh my, doesn't she have a catch." I added sarcastically and was about to say something else when Bonnie suddenly appeared, clearly just having witnessed this whole thing. She encouraged me to talk to him and now I could tell she was wondering how the hell I messed this up.

"Elena lets just go." Bonnie tugged at my arms, clearly the only rational one in this situation. "We have class in the morning." The thing that caught my attention was the class part. It was my third year of college and I couldn't mess anything up now, as we had a lecture to go to in the morning. I had to get away from this before I slapped him or started to furiously make out with him. Even if I was extremely put off by him, didn't mean I wouldn't maul him like any other girl.

"Well, it was certainly...interesting, talking with you." I said to the guy while grabbing my purse off the counter. "Can't say I wish to do it anytime again soon."

"Oh, please. We both know a couple hours from now you'll be thinking about me and next time I see you, we will talk again. We barely even talked now, and I already left a mark on you, just imagine what an actual conversation could do. " I rolled my eyes while walking past him towards the doors of the bar with Bonnie by my side.

"Can you believe that guy?"

"Elena, why did you do that? I thought you guys were hitting it off?" She stopped by her car and gave me a confused look.

"We were... it's just. We were talking and he charmed his way into my head and then I suddenly remembered Matt doing the same thing, and looked how that turned out. I mean, he fell in love someone else, so I can't really blame him for cheating on me, but that guy. Ugh, I could blame him."

"Okay." I saw it all finally click in her head as she nodded. "I guess if you needed to yell at a stranger to make you feel better, it's worth it."

"Can we just go home now before I start to feel like an idiot, for what I've all done tonight?"

* * *

><p>The next day I came home and almost crashed on my couch from exhaustion. Class wasn't too long but I only got a few hours of sleep. I shifted on the couch to get comfortable and the moment my eyes slowly drifted shut there was a loud banging on my front door. I opened my eyes and sighed knowing that it was inevitable something like this would happen. The banging just got louder as I gave all my effort to push off the couch and shuffle to the door.<p>

"Hold on, I'm coming! I don't need a permanent hole in my door from all the banging." I opened the door expecting it to be anyone but Caroline. I haven't seen her in a while. She has been so wrapped up in her new boyfriend that she has been distant. I haven't even met the guy yet and she was one of my best friends. "Oh my god! Caroline, what's wrong?" I said finally noticing the blubbering mess before me. She was crying her eyes out as her make up ran down her red face.

"He cheated on me!" She yelled in a mumbled voice. She walked right into my house and sat down on my couch while shoving her face in her hands as her body shook with sobs. "He cheated on me with a stupid redhead! A redhead!"

"Oh, Caroline." I sat down next to her, somewhat putting the pieces together. I knew how much she liked this guy from the constant talking she did about him. She even thought he was going to be the guy, but clearly, he didn't feel the same way.

"I loved him, I really did." She started wiping the tears form her eyes, trying to gain composure. "I'm such an idiot!"

"No, he's the idiot. He doesn't know what he is missing out on. It's his loss, not yours." I knew exactly what this felt like. I knew everything she was feeling at this exact moment, so I knew there was nothing I could do to make it better. The only think I could do was be there for her.

"I did everything for him! We didn't even have a bad relationship. I thought it was going so great, but I never was good enough or him. He had to find someone else to keep him satisfied. Why couldn't I be enough to keep him?"

"Caroline, I know you loved him, but he isn't a good guy. You deserve someone who will worship the ground you walk on. Obviously this guy wasn't your future. Just think about it this way, the faster this guy gets out of your life, the man you're supposed to be with will come around."

"I just want him to suffer the way I am. I want him to know how it feels." She was finally calming down as her tears stopped.

"I know. Trust me, I of all people know the feeling."

"I hope some girl messes him up, the way he messed me up." I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a hug she immediately complied to. After a few minutes of calming her down I saw something in her switch. I saw the sudden flash of an idea hit her and I didn't know whether to be comforted she was calming down or worried what this idea will be. "What if a girl did break his heart?"

"What?" I said, not really following.

"What if we made him fall in love with you and then... we crush him!" She said suddenly very enthusiastic about it.

"With me? Why me?"

"Because Elena, you just got cheated on, I just got cheated on. Who better to do this than us? We both have been hurt, why don't get a little revenge? We shouldn't be the ones getting walked all over all the time."

"You are right." I said thinking about it. Why did we have to be the only ones getting hurt in the situation. "He deserves to be put in his place. But me... I can't do that. I'll never be able to pull it off."

"Trust me Elena, with my help, he'll be eating out of your palm."

"I'm not sure about this. Haven't you talked about me, wouldn't he know."

"Just don't tell him your last name. This will work. We need this."

"Okay." I said finally expecting it. "What's this guy's name anyway?"

"Damon Salvatore." I let a laugh escape at the name. "What?"

"It's just funny. I met a Damon yesterday, who was a complete asshole as well."

"It's something about those Damon's." She stood up from my couch suddenly in a different mood then when she first arrived. "Okay, so tomorrow his best friend Alaric is throwing a huge party at the Salvatore mansion. Since, I was invited because at the time we were still dating, we are going. Tomorrow you are going to hook him."

"What if he doesn't like me?"

"I'll come over and help you get ready and give you some tips." She ran over to my door with a huge smile on her face. "This is going to be awesome. It's about time a guy tastes some of his own medicine." She almost literately bounced out my front door when I finally collapsed back down on the couch.

What the hell did I just get myself into?

_**AN: So I'm not sure if this story will stay T, I'm still deciding. I hope you like the idea:) **_

_**Review!**_


	2. You might never feel the same again

_** "The secret to getting away with lying is believing with all your heart, that goes for lying to yourself even moreso than lying to another."**_

_**-Elizabeth Bear**_

I sat in front of my mirror as Caroline curled my hair. I didn't know how she actually convinced me to do this and I decided it was from the exhaustion yesterday. I wasn't in my right mind frame so now when I was actually rational, realistic thoughts were going through my head. I'll never be able to pull this off, it only happens in the movies.

"Stop freaking out. You'll do fine. I mean look at you, if I was a guy I'd hit that." I rolled my eyes and continued to touch up my makeup. "But no matter what you do, do not have sex with him!"

"Did you forget who you are talking to?" I said only slightly insulted. I soooo was not that girl.

"No, but trust me Elena, he has a way of working himself inside your head and convinces you to do thinks no person should. And believe me when I say, his way into your panties is just another way into your heart."

"Okay, I got it. I wasn't even thinking about hooking up with him. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Good." Was all she said as she finished up my hair. "We should get going, the party started a few minutes ago."

We left the house and made our way to the familiar boarding house. I always knew about this place but I've never actually been there. Truth be told I didn't even know someone lived in it till Caroline said Damon did.

I was half expecting to back out of this and end up just enjoying the party but I knew Caroline wouldn't let me do that. When we finally arrived I we saw cars everywhere. It was clearly a huge party and with such a huge house, I'd hate to be the one to clean it afterward.

"Okay, just remember Damon likes games, so you have to play one. Mess with his head a little bit." That was easier said than done. I wasn't some sly girl who knew all the right things to say to get a guy hooked. I mean just yesterday I yelled at the guy I was flirting with. Clearly I had no game.

We made our way up the pathway to the door and waited outside for someone to open the door for us. It wasn't long till we decided to just walk in when no one came. The whole place was seriously crowded as we pushed our way inside.

"You see that guy over there?" Caroline pointed to a tall man by the bar. "That's Damon's best friend, Alaric. I think you should go talk to him first and Damon will probably come over to you. Alaric has a girlfriend so Damon usually comes and scoops the girls away. I wouldn't really be able to tell you if Alaric is grateful for it or not."

"I can do that. But show me who Damon is first before I flirt with the wrong guy." I looked around the whole room but there were too many faces. In the corner of my eye, I did catch someone familiar. I did a double take and my mouth fell open.

"Oh Damon is-"

"Caroline the guy I met at the bar is here!" I panicked and started moving away from him, even though he was quite a distance away to begin with.

"Ooo, you met a guy?"

"Yea, remember the jerk I told you about? He's here."

"The hot one? Where? I wanna see?" I grabbed onto her hand and dragged her away because I knew if I pointed him out, she would go say something to him.

"Just tell me what this guy looks like so I have somewhat of a clue." I said while slightly calming down.

"He has dark hair, and his eyes...my god his eyes are this light blue that I swear he can hypnotize you with. He probably will be dressed in something black. That is all you really need to know. When you see him, you'll know." I couldn't help but feel like there was something clearly obvious I was missing. I was too overwhelmed with my thoughts to actually put the pieces together but there was this nagging feeling in the back of my head. "Okay, Alaric is alone. Here is your chance." I felt Caroline pushing me towards the guy she showed me before. Caroline wasn't pushing me anymore and I turned around to see that I was alone now. The nervous feeling sank in my gut as I approached Alaric.

"Hey I'm Elena." I said with more confidence than I really had. "I heard this was your party."

"Yea, it's my birthday." He took a sip form his beer as I eyed him. "I'm starting to think though, not everyone is here just for my birthday. I see more alcohol than gifts. I'm Alaric by the way."

"I know." I said with a flirty smile.

"What do we have here?" I heard a deep voice from behind me and I almost laughed at how predictable this was. Caroline was right, and by the look on Alaric's face, he didn't like it when a girl got taken away from him. I took a sip from my drink and turned around ready to face this famous Salvatore. I almost gasped and spit out my drink when I saw who it was. How did I not see this coming? There were so many signs that all just passed over my head. The guy from the bar could not be Caroline's ex!

"You are Damon!" I said without even thinking of the words that flew out of my mouth.

"Yea, I don't know if you remember this or not but we already met, Elena." He said sarcastically and I couldn't believe this was actually happening. Why? Why! I couldn't go through with his plan. I just couldn't.

"I think I'm going to puke." I mumbled while fanning myself off. It suddenly just got very hot in here. "I didn't know you were the Damon Salvatore." I said with my mouth still slightly open.

"The one and only." I looked back at the rook full of people to see Caroline giving me a thumbs up in a corner. I was officially in this. Now I had to turn the tables and make myself actually likable.

"I'm sorry for the other night." I said quickly trying to get it over with. "It really wasn't you, I was having a bad day."

"You can be honest, it was me."

"Okay, maybe just a little bit." I said while laughing and then suddenly stopping when I realized it wasn't forced. "So this is your place?" I asked while looking around. It was huge and I believed it would be odd for only one person to live in it.

"Yep, my brother and I are the only ones who live here."

"You have a brother?" Caroline never mentioned anything about him having a brother. I took a mental note and reminded myself to bring that up to her later.

"He's not my favorite person in the world. I usually deny it when people ask if we are related."

"I know the feeling. I have a brother as well and I just don't know what to do with him sometimes. But he's all I really got in this world, so I can't complain." I watched Damon as I spoke and I could tell he was actually listening when I talked. I actually expected him to be this jock who cares more about his next football game then the sophisticated man that stood before me. But he was definitely a player, no matter what type of guy he was, player would definitely be under his classification. The way he smirked and the way he held himself was just part of his game. He was probably the worst type of player, he was the one who actually got in your head.

"The difference between us, is that I could do without my brother. He's an asshole."

"Does that run in the family?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" He feigned being upset and I tried not to laugh.

"It means that the other night I really, really, really wanted to punch you in your face."

"But it's such a pretty face."

"That exact comment right there is why you are punchable."

"We both know you'd rather kiss me than punch me. I say we try out that first option." He took a step forward and got in my personal space.

"Nice try. " I said while pushing him back.

"Can't blame me for trying." He said while stepping back. There was music that was suddenly growing louder and the bass made it almost impossible to understand what Damon was saying. " Want to go outside?" I barely heard Damon say over the loud music. I nodded as he grabbed onto my hand and started leading me towards a door I didn't know was there. We pushed past people and were finally outside. I let out a breath after the door closed behind me, finally getting somewhere quiet.

"So this is your backyard?" I glanced around the enormous plantation. There were pretty flowers and exotic plants everywhere which made it even more painfully beautiful. "It's amazing."

"It is nice." He said while giving a glance around as well. I could tell he wasn't quite used to the backyard, which only grew to my suspicion he just recently moved here, or back.

"How long have you been living here?"

"I grew up here. But I just came back. Everything is mostly the same, expect for little details... like the backyard. " He said while laughing. "After my father died, I decided to come back."

"I'm sorry." I said quickly. I of all people knew what it was like to lose a parent. Especially two.

"Don't be. He had the Salvatore asshole charm, as you so put it." I mentally hissed at my choice of words from before. Probably not my smartest move.

"Sorry." I said again. I wanted to tell him I knew what it was like, but for some reason I didn't want him to know about my parents. I didn't want him to know about Matt. I didn't want him to know anything too personal. It would make this whole thing Caroline and I came up with a lot easier. "Why did you decided to come back after he died?"

"I couldn't really say. I just picked up my stuff and came back one day. If I would have known my brother would be here I wouldn't have."

"What about your mother?" I asked noting he never brought her up.

"Died. I was eight when she got sick. What about you?" I was about to immediately give my awkward answer when I suddenly realized what was going on here. I warned myself about this! He works his way into your head. This was just part of the game.

"They are still around. Happily married." I lied while just letting the words fall out. I had to admit, it was somewhat nice to pretend they were still alive. Damon wouldn't know better, so I could care less lying about it.

"That's good. It's rare now a days." Maybe that's why he was a cheater. Maybe he had issues with this parents. I never really understood the concept of why men or women for the matter find the need to cheat, why they honestly believe they are so in love but would easily betray their so called loved ones. But with Damon, I could see how he could have his reasons. "So who is the guy?" He said, catching me off guard.

"What?"

"You know the guy that broke your heart."

"What makes you think some guy broke my heart?" I said hesitantly as I saw down on cement edge that over looked the yard.

"Because I'm usually that guy. I know the signs by now."

"You are right, there was a guy." I don't know why I was able to tell him about this and not about my parents but I kept going on. "He cheated on me." I glanced up at him and looked in right in the eye. "I hate cheaters."

"How do you know he cheated on you?"

"I caught them." I said while sighing. "Apparently they were seeing each other for a year before I found out. And I couldn't really be mad, I mean they fell in love. You can't help you love." He started to laugh which only made me confused.

"No wonder why you bitched me out at the bar. Elena, there is no excuse for cheating on a girl. He disrespected you. He could have been honest with you."

"And I'm sure you've never disrespected a girl before." I said heavily sarcastic. "Be honest."

"Oh, I've never hid the fact the fact that I can be a dick." I almost laughed at his straight forwardness. "But I own up to my mistakes. I let the girls hate me because, I deserve to be hated. This guy doesn't deserve an excuse. Stop giving him one."

"So are you saying everyone is bound to hate you?"

"No, some girls try, but they are never successful."

"Yea, sure." I said while taking another sip from my drink. "I don't know maybe there were other reasons why we didn't work out." I mumbled, more to myself than to Damon.

"Were you not good enough for him?"

"How dare you say that!" I was taken completely off guard. " Of course I was... good enough." I didn't sound too confident at the end which just frustrated me more.

"Are you good enough for me?" Games, remember Elena? He knew exactly what he was doing.

"Oh, please. I'm beyond you."

"Then prove it." I looked at him trying to read exactly what was going on. Was he actually taking a liking to me? Did I actually do what I thought was going to be impossible.

"And how exactly can I do that?" I blurted back giving a him a small smile.

"Let me take you out."

"Why? So I can prove I'm good enough for you or because you actually like me?"

"Purely because you need to prove yourself. I never said anything about liking you." He said with a smirk so I knew he was just playing around.

"Be careful, you may just fall for me. " I said with a smirk of my own which made him start to laugh.

"I'll bet you a million dollars, that I will never fall for you." He said with pure confidence.

"You are a dead man walking." I grabbed a hold of his hand and shook it. When he smiled and didn't actually smirk or grin I had to settle the little butterflies in my stomach. I've been warned about him. I knew what kind of person he was so I would be stupid to read into things. His smile suddenly dropped as we both heard a loud smash of what sounded like glass breaking. "You should probably go check on that." I said while looking back towards the house. We stood up and I followed him back to the patio door.

"Meet me at the carnival tomorrow?"

"The carnival?" That was the last place I would think he would take me. "Sure."

"I'll explain why there, tomorrow. Meet me by the Ferris wheel at eight." He slid through the door, holding it open for me before rushing off to wherever the noise came from. I was suddenly being pulled away into a corner with someone I couldn't see.

"How did it go?" I let a breath out when I realized it was Caroline.

"I got a date." I said excitedly.

"Yay! I told you he would want to sleep with you!" My excitement dropped after that.

"Do you really think that's the only reason he asked me out?" She gave me a sympathetic look.

"Oh sweety, that's besides the point. We are going to squash Damon!"

I don't know why but suddenly my stomach was doing flips from the whole situation.

_**AN: Thanks for reading! A lot of you have mentioned the John Tucker Must Die movie. I actually didn't get the idea from that but now thinking about it I totally see the similarities. **_

_**Review! **_


	3. Slipping steadily into madness

_**"What's meant to be will always find a way."**_

_**- Trisha Yearwood **_

I waited anxiously as the sun was just setting, under the huge ferris wheel. Caroline told me all the right things to say and all the right ways to react but I was still slightly anxious. I don't know why, it's not like words don't just fly out of my mouth around him but I felt like now I really had to sell it. I really had to be well... nice to him. I guess I'm too used to saying whatever comes to mind rather than taking the time to push away my values and agree. I wasn't a huge fan of this, I felt...dirty.

I was people watching when my eyes finally landed on Damon. I felt my breath hitch and then went back to normal. I had to focus. He was walking with Alaric and what I assumed to be his girlfriend.

"Hey." Damon said while wrapping his arm around my shoulders while I unconsciously leaned into his embrace. "See you guys around." He said to Alaric as they walked away.

"So, the fair?" I said as we slowly started walking in a random direction. "I didn't really take this as being your type of scene."

"Oh really? You just assumed I wasn't into the whole face painting, cotton candy eating ordeal?"

"You're right. The first thing I should have thought when I saw you was 'That guy probably really likes getting tiger whiskers painted on his face'."

"You seriously shouldn't judge a book by its cover."

"Yea, because you're so more complex than that." I said while laughing. "I've heard rumors about you."

"I'm sure they are all flattering, of course."

"It depends on what your definition of flattery is." I was looking up at him and only a few times did he glance down at me. I could tell all of his charm was an act. He truly didn't like it when people brought up his record. And I could also tell I was one of the few people who actually did just that. "Why do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"You know. Seriously, we both know your reputation."

"Are you stating that I, of all people, have a bad reputation?" He said sarcastically and I tried hard not to laugh at that.

"I just don't understand it, that's all. I'm not judging you or anything." After that I could feel him be less tense as his arm relaxed around me.

"Well, I am looking for true love."

"In all the wrong places." I muttered as I waited for him to go on.

"I'm just trying to find that earth-shattering soulmate faster."

"And how exactly is that logical? You are with a different girl like every week."

"Well those are what I call tryouts." He said it like it was an obvious thing. " I find it easier to try out multiple girls at once. "

"I don't agree with you, but for some reason I could see how that makes sense in your mind. But I still don't agree with it." I said while thinking it over. It was an utterly ridiculous excuse but in a way I guess you could say it was just smart thinking. "So is this my audition?"

"I guess you could say that." He said while laughing.

"So how am I doing?" I said while I stopped walking and he stood in front of me. "Do you like me?"

"Well..." He pretended to think about as I hit him in the shoulder. "I'm just kidding." He said with a bright smile. "Jeez, you already starting to abuse me."

"You aren't as funny as you think you are."

"You are right, I don't give myself enough credit sometimes." Oh god, this is why he was charming and also why I wanted to pop that huge ego of his. "Oh and to answer your question, so far you are passing your audition."

"Oh I feel so lucky." I said sarcastically. "And just so we are clear, since I know your typical motivations, I'm not going to be one of those girls who go gush over you and believe your lies. So you can cut the bullshit with me and be yourself. I see right through you."

"Oh really? You see right through my allurement?"

"I don't get impressed by your flirty smirks or when you give me that look."

"What look?"

"You know the look. "I said while rolling my eyes that just made his amused smirk widen.

"Those were great examples of how I am starting to like you. "

"How so?" I said taken completely off guard. I didn't even realize we did an almost whole circle around the fair till I saw the fairs wheel, suddenly right in front me. It just amazed me how the time flew whenever I was with him.

"Because you aren't afraid to challenge me. I like that you can stand up for your values. It's highly attractive." I tried not to show the fact that I was slightly flattered. I almost got mad at myself for not being agreeable but then felt relieved when he still liked me anyway. "I like that you know your worth, and trust me you aren't like most the girls I know."

"Oh and we are right back to where we started." I said while laughing. Of course it didn't take him long to use another line. "And how many times have you used that line?"

"Enough not to mention." Exactly what I thought...

"Your honesty is killing me." I started looking around and noticed we didn't actually do any carnival type of things yet. "Lets get some cotton candy." I said pointing to a booth that had a line for food.

"Oh, so you remembered my favorite things."

We waited in line and after that decided to do more fair appropriate things. We ended up doing bumper cars which turned into an extreme battle between us and then went on the ferris wheel while I complained about my fear of heights and clung onto him as he shook with laughter. We were again walking around when I realized I was actually enjoying myself. Which should be a big no no but I convinced myself that I didn't need to be putting myself through the ringer with him, I could enjoy myself and still be able to get the revenge every girl secretly wanted. I mean, this is a case I could have my cake and eat it to, right?

"You never told me why we actually came here." I said as we were walking by the booths they had games for.

"Well back when I was in high school, I got into a lot of trouble."

"Which is a given with your type of personality." I added as we walked and he slipped his fingers through mine. I nearly froze at the action, especially as it came so normal to him to hold hands. I wasn't expecting it.

"Clearly. Well they gave me an ultimatum for this one time I got caught doing something. Either be suspended or be a 'big brother'." I was confused were this was going and to tell you the truth I wouldn't have even guessed this story if you asked me to. "I ended up doing the big brother thing, which is ironic, considering the fact I'm not even a good brother to the one I actually have. I guess they assumed the kid would be better for myself than the other way around. Which if I was being honest was true."

"So what exactly is a big brother?"

"It's this program for kids that sets you up to have an one-on-one relationship with them. Kind of like being a mentor to them." I nodded my head, remembering hearing about that from time to time. "It really confused me because at the time I was only eighteen and there were kids my age in the program but I was supposed to be the mentor. But anyway that's not the point. When I went into it, I was placed with a little girl who was only eight."

"What was her name?"

"Sam. Over the time we had to spend with each other I decided that I liked her better than my own brother. And here we are today, when she is fourteen." I didn't even realize we were standing in front of a booth for a ring tossing game till I looked up. "It's her freshman year so I promised I'd help out with the carnival by spending some major cash."

"And that you better do." I looked up to see a young girl looking at Damon. I guess this was the Sam he was talking about. I tried really really really hard not to like this part of him, but how could I not? The story was so sweet and the fact that she was still in his life was even sweeter.

"I promised I would. Now how hard is this game?"

"Not hard enough, so you better lose on purpose." I couldn't help but laugh. This just proved that he wasn't incapable of having some sort of relationship with someone. It was nice to see this side of him, even if I did barely know his original one.

After a while of Damon purposely missing targets and accidentally hitting some I figured he spent over one hundred dollars as money just kept coming out of his wallet. I watch as he simply threw all three rings that she gave to him and they all wrapped around a bottle. I laughed at the glare she gave him after that.

"What? I had to win something for my date!" He defended himself which was all too cute, while she handed him a medium sized stuffed animal bear.

"Fine, thanks for spending all that money for me." She said while her glare suddenly disappeared and a smile appeared.

"The things I do for you." He said while laughing and turning his attention back to me. "And this, my lady, is for you." He handed me the bear and I couldn't help but think how adorable this was. No one has ever won me a stuffed animal before.

"Thanks." I smiled up at him and turned to Sam. "It was nice meeting you. It was truly entertaining to see how much you have him wrapped around your finger. It was quite adorable. One day I might need tips."

"Oh, no. We must leave before that happens." He said while grabbing a hold of my hand again and started pulling me away from the booth. "See ya later kid." He said over his shoulder.

"Wow, Damon Salvatore has a soft spot after all."

"Oh shut up." He said as the cheap fireworks started to go off in the distance. I looked over at them and watched as they shot up in the sky and lit up the whole fair. Sure, they weren't the best fireworks but I still loved them, even when the air turned into a big cloud of smoke. For the rest of the night we spent watching the fireworks till the carnival announced it would be closing soon. I decided to go then before all the traffic started when trying to leave, so Damon walked me to my car while we exchanged numbers.

"Tonight was surprisingly fun." I said once we reached my car.

"Did you expect it not to be?"

"I don't know what to expect with you." I admitted while I leaned back against my car door.

"I could think of a few things to make tonight a whole lot more fun." I laughed while rolling my eyes and decided to do something I usually wouldn't do. I was the first one to make a move as I gently kissed him quick before he could comprehend it.

"That's all you get." I went back to my position before with a smile on my face when I saw what his looked like. His eyes were slightly wide and I'm sure it was the fact that he hasn't been resisted a long make out session or hot sex on the first night. I had to stop thinking about that because in the back of my mind I was thinking that thought was somewhat appealing. I turned to open my door and almost got in but his hand stopped me.

"Call me." Was all he simply said as he let go and winked at me, right before turning and going to search for his own car. I was left with little butterflies after that the whole way home. I didn't really know if tonight was a success or not but I'm sure Caroline will have plenty to say.

When I did finally arrived home I saw that Caroline was already there and waiting in my living room.

"So how did it go?" Caroline ambushed me the moment I walked into the house.

"Good, I think." I said while taking off my jacket. "He won me this." I held out my bear in pride but that suddenly went away when she snarled at it.

"A carnival stuffed animal! Ew, that's disgusting." She said while taking the bear and throwing it over her shoulder. I tried to hold back my frown and the way I wanted to run over to the bear and pick it up.

"So what all happened? Did he ask you on a second date?"

"He told me to call him."

"Well you aren't going to do that."

"Why not?" I said while calmly walking over to the bear she just chucked and picked it up.

"He has to call you."

"What if he doesn't?"

"Trust me Elena he is going to call you for two reasons. One, because you are smoking hot and two, is because you didn't call him after he told you to." This is why I was glad I had Caroline. I wouldn't have thought about that myself. Now I just had to hide the fact that I was worried, he may not call me.

**AN: Sorry for the long wait. I forgot to mention that this story is all human. Tell me what you think:)**

**Review!**


	4. Don't do to me what she did before

_**"Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance."**_

_**Oscar Wilde**_

I was driving home from Bonnie's and I was extremely angry. It has been six days! Six long freakin days since the carnival. And Caroline was wrong, he didn't call me. She kept telling me not to worry but I was worrying. I mean, it's not that hard to pick up the phone, is it? I didn't even care if it was his ego that took a hit and that's why he didn't jump to call me right away. There was no excuse. I don't know what exactly got me so riled up, maybe it was the Taylor Swift song that was playing on the radio or maybe it was Caroline who just asked if he called or not. All I did know was that Damon Salvatore was public enemy number one right now.

I turned up the music, even though I hated Taylor Swift. Why am I listening to this? Why am I even singing along? The fact that I was becoming one of those girls who listen to songs about shitty guys when waiting for them to call back was scaring me a bit. It was the exact opposite of the kind of person I was. What was this guy doing to me? Here I was, belting out the chorus of a Taylor Swift song as I drove down a street, not even caring about anything else. When the song finally ended I came back down to the real world and quickly turned the radio off before I had any repeats of what just happened. I quickly looked around at the stop light to see if anyone saw me. When I saw that I was in the clear I sighed and went to drive on till I heard a voice. Was my phone ringing? I hurriedly reached into my back pocket and pulled out my phone. When I realized I already answered it I immediately said hello without even seeing who called.

"Hello?" I said a little breathless from my singing.

"Wow, Elena, I didn't know your singing voice was so... amazing." I almost gasped at who was on the other line. Damon! He called! He finally called me. I almost let a squeal out before realty hit me again. What did he just say?

"How long have you been on the phone?" The horror in my voice was extremely noticeable. No, no, no this could not be happening! Of all times he could have called me...

"Long enough to know not to take you to a karaoke bar." My hand came up and slapped my forehead. Could there be anymore of an embarrassing moment as this?

"I'm sorry, I must have pocket-answered your call. Please do not tell anyone about this." I said while laughing at myself.

"I actually recorded it on my phone so next time I see you, you can listen to it."

"You are just going to drag out my embarrassment, aren't you?"

"Did you expect anything less from me?"

"I guess not." I muttered. This was not how I thought our next conversation would go.

"What are you doing?" He said abruptly.

"Driving home, you?"

"I'm at the coffee shop next to the bar we met at. I had something I had to discus with my brother and I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee with me when I'm done." As he was speaking I immediately went to do a u-turn and go in the direction of the coffee shop.

"Yea, sure. Coffee sounds great."

* * *

><p>It wasn't long before I showed up at the coffee place. When I walked in our eyes immediately connected and then my eyes landed on the guy sitting across from Damon. So that was his brother? Good looks must run in the family, I noted as I waved at them and went to get in line for my coffee. After a couple of minutes I got my coffee and walked over to their table. I immediately felt the tension when I approached them.<p>

"Hey Damon. And you must be..." I remember Damon telling me his name but I just couldn't pin it.

"Stefan." He said kindly which I wasn't expecting as he was just glaring at Damon seconds ago. "It's nice to meet you, Elena." I was confused as to how he knew my name but it was probably already from Damon.

"You look really familiar." I said looking him up and down again. Yes, I had definitely seen him before.

"You know, I was just thinking the same thing." He was eyeing me the same way and it wasn't till Damon cleared his throat till I remembered the situation we were in. "I should get going." Stefan said while standing up and giving me his seat and turning back to Damon with a glare that suddenly reappeared.

"Bye." I waved him off and turned back to Damon when he was finally gone. "Now, why exactly was that so awkward?" I said as I finally felt the tension disappear.

"Sorry, you just walked in on a Salvatore disagreement."

"What happened?" I asked while taking a sip from my coffee.

"Just the past coming back up and we both have to face the facts if we are going to be living with each other." He leaned back in his chair and I wanted to ask so many more questions but I didn't want to seem nosy so I just kept drinking my coffee to keep quiet

"So why did it take six days for you to call me?" I said the first thing that was on my mind and immediately regretted it afterward.

"You were counting?" I blushed after that and he just smirked at me. "You didn't even call me at all." He gave me a pointed look.

"Touché Mr. Salvatore." I put down my coffee and gave him a suspicious look. "Did you just call me here to have an excuse to get away from Stefan?"

"That, and if I must admit it, I really wanted to see you. I wish you would have called." I wanted to say I was under strict rules not to. I couldn't really be mad at Caroline because she was right, he called me and if I called him I probably would have been just like all the other girls.

"Oh, I see. And what exactly is so horrible about Stefan that you needed an excuse?" I wanted the conversation off me so I didn't care if I was now prying.

"Do you really want to know?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"Don't you think it's a little early to have the awkward talk about our past?"

"You basically know a big factor with mine." I already told him all about Matt. What could his story be?

"Alright but I must admit, it goes a little bit further than just siblings rivalry."

"I expected there was something else...or someone."

"A someone is correct." He mumbled and looked everywhere but me. "Stefan and I... we used to be fine with each other. We had your typical brother relationship. We played sports together, I gave him girl advice, and sometimes we even sent each other to the hospital after doing something stupid together." I noticed when he was talking that he missed those times. He missed growing up with his brother. What could have torn them apart?

"Then what happened?"

"Stefan graduated High School and then we realized certain girls were at the same playing level. So of course we both found one that really threw us for a loop. Katherine." Ah, now I see it. If there was something that could destroy a brotherly bond, it would be a women.

"So you both fell in love with her." I stated and by the look on his face, I knew I was right.

"After months of fighting we finally told her to make her choice. You know who she chose?" I would have guessed Stefan from the current situation but I wasn't going to voice it. "She chose neither of us." Now that, I wasn't expecting.

"So she just toyed with you and dragged you both along only to drop you?" I was completely appalled and then with a roll of nausea I realized that what I was doing, wasn't much better. I had plans to just drop him as well...

"She's a selfish slut. We should have seen it coming."

"So why is your relationship with Stefan still so rocky?"

"We never made up. For a while it was all about Katherine and now when I think about it, I think we are just mad at each other that we let her destroy our relationship."

"I have a feeling that one day, you guys can be brothers again." I said while trying to have it end on a lighter note.

"I hope so, but enough with all this serious stuff, why don't we just... talk about all the good things in our life."

"Okay." I said suddenly liking this more positive aspect to him.

For the rest of the time we spent at coffee shop all we did was talk till I noticed we had been there for hours. It was so easy talking to him and I knew that today really did bring us closer in a way that we weren't before. I was actually getting to know him and instead of freaking out, I liked it. He asked me out for another date on Friday and I was already looking forward to it. The first thing I did when I left was call Caroline. She asked me to come over and I was now on her bed explaining everything that happened.

"So have you learned anything we can use against him?" Caroline said after she started getting annoyed with me. "Elena, I think you are getting a little too wrapped up in Damon."

"What do you mean?" That took me completely off guard.

"What I mean is, I think you are developing a crush. Elena you have to push that aside."

"I'm not crushing on him!"

"Elena the way you are talking about him is making me second guess our breakup and I hate him. You have to remember why we are doing this and who he is. Now do you have anything that could help us? Any little piece of information, cause we seriously need it. You aren't holding out on me are you?"

"No." I felt like I was suddenly being put in my place. I felt like I had to prove something. "I think I have something that could help us."

"What?"

The words didn't even come out yet and I already regretted them. "His brother and him were once both in love with the same girl." I watched her eyes light up as if it was Christmas morning.

"This is perfect!"

"Why?" This could not be good...

"Because you are going to sleep with his brother!"

_**AN: Updates will be happening a lot faster now that summer is basically here. I hope you liked this chapter:)**_

_**Review!**_


	5. No circumstances could excuse

**_"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies."_**

**_- Pietro Aretino_**

"No, Caroline!" I moaned as we walked into our class. It's been three days and all she has been talking about was Damon's brother. I think I told her multiple times but that didn't stop her from planning out a devious plan in her head. "Okay, listen Caroline. That is too much. This is about Damon just getting a taste of his own medicine. I never planned on it to get so serious."

"What do you mean 'so serious'?" She gave me a suspicious look and I just rolled my eyes.

"I mean, that is too much to do to someone!" I sat down, already annoyed with this conversation but of course Caroline wanted it her way.

"Elena, what is the point of doing this if you are scared to actually go through with anything." She whined and I felt a headache coming on.

"Caroline this is a human being we are talking about." I protested.

"He is not a human being! He is a monster! He hurts people just to hurt them. What kind of human being purposely rips a girls heart out just for the fun of it?"

"Then what are we doing Caroline? How can you say we aren't going to his level? And this is just about Damon, not Stefan. There is a line and you are always on the border of crossing it."

"Okay, miss perfect why don't you ever cross the line every once in a while and maybe you wouldn't be so boring and still have Matt around." My head shot in her direction and I gave her an indignant look and I could tell she already regretted the words that just fell from her mouth. I heard our professor start to talk and before the class could settle down I grabbed my stuff and moved seats to the back of the room. I threw my stuff down on a random table, not even paying attention and sat next to some random guy. I didn't even notice my notebook went flying onto his stuff till I sat down and he was suddenly handing it to me.

"Oh, sorry." I mumbled and looked up.

"You!" We both said at the same time. Stefan Salvatore was sitting right next to me with the exact same shocked expression I imagined was on my face.

"I knew you were familiar!" I said after finally putting the pieces together.

"We should have figured." I gave him a smile and turned my attention forward as our lecture started. I caught a glance of Caroline looking at me with a guilty yet curious gaze. I blew it off and paid attention to what was being said.

After a good hour, the lecture was over and everyone was packing up, ready to leave. There was a huge test coming up and I knew the next couple of days I would have to study my butt off.

"Hey, do you need a study partner?" I heard Stefan waiting besides me.

"Um..." I cast a glance at Caroline. I was still mad at her. "Yea, I don't have one anymore." I said loud enough for her to hear as we walked out of the room. Stefan walked me out of the building and to the parking lot as we made small talk.

"So, do you want to go grab some food?" He said as we reached my car.

"I would love to, but your brother is actually coming over in a little bit." I made a point of bringing up Damon so we didn't get our signals crossed.

"Oh I see. You guys are getting pretty serious, aren't you?" That took me off guard. We have only been on a couple of dates.

"Not really. We are just, you know, letting whatever is going on play out." I shrugged it off, not trying to come across too attached.

"Oh." He said a little confused. "I can tell he really likes you though."

"Really?" I was a little too giddy. I wasn't supposed to like the fact that he likes me. "I mean, why would you say that?" I said while composing myself.

"Because you are dating." The way he said it was as if it was such a crazy concept. "Damon either hooks up with a girl or jumps straight into a doomed relationship."

"So I am different?" I liked the thought of not being like all the other girls, way too much.

"Yea you are." He said while smiling at me and my phone started ringing, breaking the moment.

"Speaking of the devil." I said while noticing it was Damon on the phone.

"I'll see you around then." Stefan said while backing up. "We'll make a study date soon."

"Hey Damon." I said while waving to Stefan then getting in my car. "You have no idea who I just ran into."

"And who would that be?" I heard Damon's smooth voice and I already butterflies.

"Your brother." I said while driving out of the parking lot.

"Eh." I heard him mumble and I couldn't help a laugh escape. I liked where things were with Damon. We were at stage where we called and texted each other all the time and it wasn't awkward or strained. Things were natural with him and it was comfortable. "He's not that special."

"Be nice." I warned him.

"Since when am I ever nice?"

"Oh please, you are a little softy on the inside. I know it kills you whenever a sarcastic and witty comment comes out of your mouth."

"You are right Elena. It hurts soooo bad. How do you know me so well?" He said sarcastically.

"Ooh. That one must have really stung."

"You aren't as funny as you think you are."

"You are right, I don't give myself enough credit." I said while quoting him.

"Now that is just plain stealing."

"They are words. You don't own them." I said while laughing and rolling my eyes. "Where are you?"

"I'm almost to your house. I'm just a couple blocks away."

"So am I."

"I bet I can beat you there." He said sounding very mischievous.

"It's on Salvatore." I said while hanging up the phone and turning down a familiar street. It didn't take long till I reached my house and I was the first one there. I got out and walked up to my front door as I was preparing to unlock it I suddenly felt a hand grab my butt. I turned around and squealed while almost having a heart attack before I saw it was just Damon. "You scared me!" I said while punching his arm.

"Sorry I just couldn't resist myself."

* * *

><p>We had planned on just having a relaxed night. We ended up having a movie night as we sat on my couch and watched scary movies. I'm sure he did it on purpose because I always leaned in a little closer on any scary moment. We put in a new movie and it was at an impasse where you were getting to know the main characters and nothing scary was happening. It was then that I started to feel light kisses on my neck and I stopped watching the move all together. When he stopped I turn my head towards him and almost immediately his lips found mine. It felt like my insides were on fire. He always knew how to give me those insufferable butterflies and now it feeling like they just exploded. His kisses were intense as he already had me pinned down on the couch. I tried to suppress a giggle but I couldn't help it.<p>

"What?" he said clearly amused as he lifted his head a bit.

"You just make me feel like I'm thirteen years old again and having my first making out session on the couch, praying my parents don't come down the stairs." It even made it more surreal as we were in the house I grew up in. He just laughed at me and went back to kissing my neck and my breathing hitched. When his hands started making there was downward and on to my stomach while pushing up my shirt I knew I head to stop him. This was wrong for so many reasons. "Wait." I heard him groan into the crook of my neck then raise his head to look at me. It took all my self-control to get the words out. "I don't do this." His fingers never stopped tracing patterns on my stomach as he looked down at me, deciding what to do.

"Do what?" He went back to kissing me, clearly trying to ignore what I just said. I did my best to push him off me and sit up.

"I don't just jump into bed with guys I'm only dating."

"I was thinking more the couch..." He said softly.

"That's hardly the point Damon. Things have to be more serious for me. You understand right?" I watched as his mouth hung slightly open and I knew he wasn't used to being turned down. "Lets just wait."

"I don't usually wait." He said hesitantly.

"I know." I mumbled while looking every but him. I didn't want to think about him with any other girls. "You know, it's a lot better when it's not just lust and you have a connection with someone."

"Sex is sex." He obviously didn't get it, probably because he never experienced it.

"One day you'll understand." I said while taking a deep breath.

"I doubt it."

"You don't think sex is better when you love someone?" How could he honestly think that?

"I don't really believe in love. Or at least, I don't believe it is really for me."

"The people who don't believe in love are just the people who have never experienced it." It slipped out before I could stop myself.

"I thought I was in love once. And if that is really what love is then I want nothing to do with it."

"You know I used to think the same thing as you. I grew up with parents that loved each other and would stick together through every little thing. For some reason when I looked at them, I never saw that for me. I never saw me being happy with someone like that. But now, I believe in it. I guess I never knew how bad I wanted it till now."

"What made you change your mind?" When I was talking I wasn't really paying attention to him but when he pulled me back to the real world I saw that he looked so curious and so determined to understand. Almost as if he wanted that reconciliation.

"I don't even know." I whispered. When did things change? Was it when I met Damon? That's all I could think. Because I don't ever remember feeling like this before I met him.

"Then what are we doing? You want to have a connection when you are with someone and I don't believe in love, so what is this?"

"You don't believe we have a connection?" I was slightly hurt. Maybe I was the only one thinking we were going somewhere.

"There is something..." I watched as he searched for the right words. "There is something between us that is more than just attraction."

"A connection." I said while smiling, as he came to terms with it himself.

"Well if we have a connection, why can't I do this?" He said as his hands traveled up my leg and resting on my thigh as he leaned over he again and started to kiss me senseless. After a coupe minutes we stopped and he let me catch my breath.

"The reason why we can't do that is because we aren't together."

"So you want to be together?" I was about to deny it but I held my tongue because it was what I wanted. I would just ruin it for myself. "We can be together." The smile plastered on my face didn't really cover up my emotions too well.

"Really? As in you are mine and I am yours, type of together?" I leaned into him and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "So now I'll introduce you to my friends and family as my boyfriend?"

"Exactly." He said just as excited about it as me. "And I'll introduce you as my girlfriend."

"I can't wait." I said while looking up at him.

"So when do we get to finalize our relationship." She said suggestively as his eyes roamed over me.

"When things get serious."

"So the day that I meet your parents is the day we can further things."

"Why would you say that?" It felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs and I came crashing back down to reality. This relationship would be built on lies. I'm a liar.

"Well don't you think when you introduce someone to your parents things are getting serious?"

"Yea, I guess."

"What's wrong?" He said noticing my sudden shift in mood.

"Nothing. I was just thinking." I put on a fake smile and gave him a quick kiss. It was a such a bittersweet moment and I didn't know what to do with myself. Did I tell him the truth? Did I tell Caroline that the deal is off? If Damon found out he'd hate me for sure. I was so conflicted and it felt like there was a permanent lump stuck in my throat. I got myself into a big mess.

_**AN: Sorry for the long wait, I've been SO busy! I'll try to update real soon:) **_

_**Review!**_


	6. I can't explain what you do to me

**_"The old faiths light their candles all about, but burly truth comes by and puts them out."  
>-Lizette Reese<em>**

I walked into my house after a long study date with Stefan. I wasn't doing so great in the class but compared to him, I was a genius. It was seriously taking a toll on me and after having to re-explain what I did know I ended up not learning anything. To say the least Stefan now owes me.

I threw my books onto the table near the door and walked into my living room while nearly having a heart attack. Caroline was sitting on my couch and it looked like she has been there for a long time.

"Hey." She said in a shy voice that wasn't really like Caroline.

"Hi." I said in the same manner and sat down next to her. There was an awkward silence and neither of us wanted to look at each other.

"I'm sorry." We both said at the same time and then giggled a little bit, breaking the tension.

"I shouldn't have ever asked you to do this Elena." She said while wrapping her arms around me.

"I should have never agreed to do it."

"You are right, you shouldn't have." She unwrapped her arms and I saw that the old Caroline was coming back. "I don't know what took over me but I was just so mad at Damon and I wanted to hurt him so badly. I'm so sorry I let it come between us."

"I don't know why but my logic didn't really kick in till later. This was all just a big mistake." I was so glad we were finally talking. I was so mad at her but I really shouldn't be since this was all somewhat my fault. "Are we cool?"

"Of course." She said while shaking her head. "If you really think we were going to let a guy, that you don't even want, come between us then you are crazy." I was suddenly hit with guilt. When did that statement not become true? "I mean I'll admit I was at first suspicious and mad at you for standing up for him but I forgot that you are a natural do-gooder and then I realized I was totally corrupting you and using the girl code against you."

"Mhm." I couldn't manage actual words. I didn't stand up for Damon because I thought it was right. I did it because I didn't want to see Damon hurt. I'm the worst friend ever.

"So you can stop this whole charade whenever. The sooner the better so we can just put this past us and I can move on." She stood up and then walked to my kitchen. I could hear her moving around as I stayed frozen on the couch. If she were to walk in at this moment she would she the horror-struck expression on my face and know something was up. When did I let myself slip? When did I not want to hurt Damon? That was the whole goal of this. And why does the idea of ending things and not seeing Damon again feel like the end of the world. "I was thinking maybe I'll just tell him the truth." I was caught of guard when Caroline walked back into the living room with a glass of water.

"Don't you think that would beat the purpose of ending things?" I finally found my voice again and surprisingly it didn't come off too distressed.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I think it is better if I just let him down gently or wait for him to... get bored of me and then things will just end on it's own." That was so painful to say. What if he did get bored of me? What if he was already cheating on me? I didn't like all these thoughts and it was clear it was me that was hurting when this whole thing was to hurt him.

"Yea, you are right. I mean since you aren't having sex he will get bored soon." She took a sip from her water as if it was nothing.

"He is coming over tonight and making me dinner. I'll try to annoy him or something and maybe it will end sooner." It was a plain lie. I was now going to do the opposite and try to keep him around.

"Okay." I watched as she was thinking about something hard. "You know, it is kind of weird that he did stick around this long."

"What do you mean?" I was slightly insulted but being Caroline that fact just went over her head.

"I mean lets face it, he wasn't going to fall in love with you and it was king of stupid of us to think he would stay around and be interested without sex... unless." She suddenly glared at me with a suspicious look. It wasn't like I was sleeping with him but I never felt more guilty of something in my life. "Oh my god, you've been sleeping with him!"

"What? No! How many times do I have to tell you I wouldn't do that?"

"But he is sex on legs! I can't believe I thought you could resist him." She stood up and started pacing in the middle of my living room. I might as well of had sex with him because it doesn't matter what I say. "I mean, I couldn't even resist him!"

"Caroline you couldn't even resist the waiter that told you that your eyes were pretty."

"That has nothing to do with this!" She said while she stopped pacing. "And he had an accent, it was perfectly normal to want to hook up with him."

"Caroline that was a fake accent."

"Well I know that now! What does this have anything to do with us?" She sat back down next to me while huffing.

"It just shows that I'm not you. Sure I could have liked that guys fake accent, but I wouldn't have slept with him. So yea sure I think Damon is very..." I trialed off into my thoughts. "Very, very sexy but that doesn't mean I will just throw it all away and go sleeping with them." She gave me a look as if she was making up her mind on what to believe.

"I'm somewhat insulted." She said with a small smile.

"Caroline you have nothing to worry about. We had a talk about it and we both-"

"You talked about it!" She was suddenly back on her feet again. "So that means that something happened and you wanted to do it!"

"Caroline..."

"You aren't even denying it." This time she was calm. "Okay, I know what I have to do to prevent this."

"Prevent what?"

"From you making a big mistake and for me not to be crushed if you sleep with him." She would be crushed if I slept with him... what if she found out I was actually... no I couldn't go there. I didn't even realize she was marching up my stairs till I heard her. I immediately ran after her and watched as she burst into my bathroom.

"What are you doing?" I yelled as she went into my shower and took my razor.

"I'm taking this!" She said as she then went to my cabinet and took the extra ones I had. "And these too."

"Caroline, I still have to take a shower before Damon gets here. Put them back!" I went to grab them out of her hands but she just slipped away and ran into my room. I chased after her and when I found her throwing all my panties out of my top drawer my jaw nearly dropped. "Stop!"

"I'm just taking all the sexy ones. Relax you won't have to go commando. I like these where did you get them?." She held up a pair and I tried grabbing them out of her hands but she moved faster then I did. She held a pile of my stuff and then walked out of the room. "Go take your shower and I will find you an outfit for tonight."

* * *

><p>A hour later after taking my shower and doing my hair and makeup I tried my best to sneak out of the bathroom without drawing Caroline's attention but of course she was waiting on my bed for me. I was still mad that I couldn't even have shaved but then this whole clothing things was a little bit ridiculous. And then I saw the outfit she picked out. I knew she was just a little jealous and insecure but it was too much. I wanted to go along with things to make her feel better WITH the situation but this was something I could not do.<p>

"I am not wearing a turtle neck." I don't even know where she found it in my closest. "It is the middle of spring. No!"

"Come on Elena!"

"No Caroline." I shook my head and then when I saw the pile of my panties in the corner I nearly jumped for it but she again saw what I was going to do and had them in her arms soon enough. "Stop playing. Damon will be here any moment and you have to leave." She suddenly burst out of the room and was running down the stairs by the time I realized what she was doing. "Caroline!" I screamed as I reached the end of the stairs and right at that moment the doorbell rang. Oh no... This could not be happening. He could not be here while Caroline is running around my house with my underwear hostage and me in a towel, not even ready. "I hate you." I said hoping she could hear as I went to answer the door.

I tried not to blush under Damon's gaze as he looked me up and down after I opened the door.

"Well, well, well. Is this your way of coming onto me?" He said with a smirk. I fumbled with he towel, making sure everything was hidden.

"Maybe." I played along as I let him in. "I'm just running late. Make yourself at home, I'll be right back." I was about to walk up the stairs till I stopped and saw one of my panties dangling on the railing for the stairs. Caroline must of dropped it and of course Damon already saw them as he started snickering. I quickly grabbed them and ran up the stairs.

"If this is your way of signaling things, then message received." I heard him say as I quickly went into my room. I couldn't help but feel a little victorious as I did in fact get at least one pair away from Caroline.

Oh no... Caroline. Who knows where she was right now. I changed as fast as I could, completely ignoring Caroline's outfit she picked out and then ran back down stairs before something else extremely embarrassing happened. I found Damon in the kitchen, starting to make dinner and I could tell he was lost in thought. I sat at the counter as I watched him move around looking for things.

"Is something wrong?" I asked after watching him for a while. He was so deep in thought that I don't even think he noticed me appear.

"No..." I gave him a disbelieving look which made him rethink his answer. "Do you think I am a heartless jerk?" Where was this coming from?

"Who told you that?" I should have asked which girl told him that.

"It's nothing." She shrugged it off but I wasn't letting it off that easily. Clearly, it wasn't just nothing.

"No, I don't. You aren't heartless." I made sure to catch his eye. "Jerk...maybe when you want to be." I said while smiling at him. "Now, who told you this?" I went into my protective mode and I didn't even realize it.

"I've been called much worse." He said as he started to put things into a pot. "It's just... today I ran into an ex and that's what she told me. I don't know why but for some reason it really bothered me." I tried reading him but it was more difficult then you could imagine. "Which is ridiculous."

"Why do you think it bothered you?"

"Because the first thing I thought of was you. I don't want you to think I am a heartless jerk." I tried not to feel flattered but I couldn't help it. He actually cared what I thought. He wanted to be better...for me.

"Damon I don't know if you remember or not but I really disliked you when we first met." I tried not to look too much into his grimace after that. "But you completely won me over." I gave him a smile and I saw his mood lighten a little bit. " I don't know why you do, all those things that you do, but it doesn't bother me. Well actually it does bother me but not enough to give up on you."

"You are too lenient with me." He stopped stirring the stuff into the pot and walked closer to me. "I don't want you to hate me but this could end... this relationship could be like all my others from before. Just don't expect too much from me. You are a smart girl. I don't deserve you."

"Who said that this relationship was doomed to end? How bad was your last relationship?" I didn't even realize that Caroline was still in the room somewhere till now. Oh great. Worst. Topic. Ever.

"The last girl I dated was named Caroline. She was practically on the gossip team. I knew every little detail about her friends or any person in her life and all about their baggage. It was too much. I ended up cheating on her." He suddenly got very quiet. "I'm not proud but that's kind of my track record." I tried not to think about him cheating on me even though it was clear this was his unspoken warning. I already knew about him, I already had a warning. But for some reason I put my blinders on and ignored it.

"Why do you think you cheat?"

"I told you, I'm looking for the one and it's easier to find the one if you are looking for them always. And...honestly it's usually because I'm losing interest." I nodded somewhat expecting it. Was he still interested in me? Did he cheat on me yet?

"At least you are honest."

"And now for some reason I'm feeling guilty about it. I feel horrible about all the bad things I've done. And there is a lot of things" He seemed to be lost in his own mind again.

"Maybe you need to apologize to those girls."

"That ridiculous." He said, snapping right back. "Most of them wouldn't even want to look at me anyway."

"Damon, I'm a girl. I've been hurt. And if Matt came back here and apologized I would pretend to stay mad at him but I know it would make a difference."

"You think?" I just nodded. I watched him put the lid on the pot then walk over to me by the stool. "Our food has to cook so we have some time to spare... I could think of some things we could do to pass the time." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. I just laughed and rolled my eyes. I knew this was his way of saying our serious conversation was over. He yanked me off the stool and lead me to the couch where we sat in comfortable silence. "Can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"I know I just stumbled across you but I have to say right now you are the only girl I feel like is worth treating right. You are the only girl I actually gave a second glance at when they didn't just fall at my feet. I'm glad I found you and for the moment you are mine." I wanted to believe I could go through with manipulating Damon without my heart on my sleeve but clearly that wasn't how it was. I didn't know if it was his game or if he truly met those words. I wanted him to mean it so bad. I wanted to be only his so bad! But I couldn't say that.

I unconsciously had my feet in his lap and after a while of talking about little things like our childhood and or what schools we went to, I didn't even notice he started to massage my feet. I loved the fact that things just fell into place between us. It was so easy and then there was a slap in the face as I saw Caroline sneaking out the backdoor as quiet as she could. Took her long enough... My thoughts went back to Damon as his hands started working the bottom of my jeans up my leg when I quickly snapped my feet back away from him. Stupid Caroline! If only she let me shave... but I must admit, this was a good way to stay clear of someone touching you.

"This whole waiting thing is driving me crazy." He whispered in my ear. "It sucks."

"You suck."

"And you just won't." I faked punched him after that comment and then the timer on the stove went off.

"I'll get it." I said while standing up and running to the kitchen.

"You are a tease Elena. Walking around in towels and leaving your panties everywhere then just running away. The things I put up with..." I giggled and then it suddenly hit me. I'm going to have to break things off with Damon soon. This was going to end of our laughs and peaceful nights together. I was in over my head. I can't please everyone and still look out for myself. What the hell was I going to do?

_**AN: I'm and so so so sorry for the long wait! It wont happen again, I promise. Life just got in the way. And I know I'll be updating soon because I'm at the part of the story I've been waiting to write since the beginning. So do you guys think she is going to end things? How is Caroline going to come into play after she heard all that went down between Damon and Elena? I'm so excited!**_

_**Review:)**_


	7. World has a funny way of turning on you

_**"All secrets are deep. All secrets become dark. That's in the nature of secrets."**_

_**-Cory Doctorow**_

"Are you sure you have to go?" Damon moaned against my neck as I leaned against his car outside my school.

"Yes." I giggled while giving him one last brief kiss then pushing him away. "Today is important." Damon and I had gone out for breakfast and he was now dropping me off for my class.

"Are you sure you don't need me to pick you up?" He said as we finally put distance between each other. I hated it, but if I ever wanted to actually make it to class it had to be done.

"No, it will be fine. I'm going out with some friends afterward."

"Okay." He said while nodding. "So are you coming to the party at my place tomorrow?"

"Party?" He never informed me about a party...

"Yea, I thought I told you." He said looking confused. "But anyway, it's at nine."

"I'll be there. I might be a little late though because I promised I would have dinner with my aunt."

"Don't take too long. I don't know if I can wait so long to see you." He said while pulling me back into his arms once again.

"I seriously have to get to class." I mumbled against his lips and this time when he moved away he went over to his side of the car and stood by the door waiting to get in. "So what exactly are you doing today?" I said while looking for a pen in my purse.

"I'm taking your advice and going to see an ex-girlfriend." He said nonchalantly.

"What?" How am I just hearing about this now?

"Stop with that face. You have nothing to worry about."

"What face?" He took me off guard again. Were my emotions seriously that obvious or was it just him?

"Your upset face."

"How do you know my upset face? We haven't been dating long enough for you to know it."

"Well too bad, I already know it." He said while a smirk. "Now, didn't you say you had to get to class." I was shocked back into reality and glanced at my phone. I was going to be late.

"Oh no! Bye Damon!" I said while practically running into the building and waving behind my shoulder at him.

* * *

><p>After class Bonnie and I went to the Grill to meet up with Caroline. She didn't have class today but when she walked through the doors of the Grill with the most giant smile on her face I knew she was going to be a chatter box. I was a little nervous at first thinking about what she had all heard the other night.<p>

"You guys wont ever believe what happened." She said while rushing to our table and sitting down.

"What happened?" I said with the most fake enthusiastic voice ever. Bonnie gave me a knowing glance but acted interested as well.

"Okay, so after the other night when Damon was talking to you, I thought for sure he was just giving you a loud bullshit but then-"

"Wait what?" Bonnie interrupted her and we both realized we never told her the story. Before I had time to stop Caroline, she started already.

"Oh, remember that cheating boyfriend of mine? Elena was pretending to date him and we were going to get back at him by breaking his heart."

"What!" The way Bonnie looked at me made me feel like I was a little kid again. I never felt so guilty. "That is horrible. Caroline...Elena, you guys are so much better than that. You are just going to his level." She was obviously disgusted with the whole thing.

"I know Bonnie! That is why we are ending this before anything bad can happened. I already feel guilty enough." I watched her take a deep breath and then clam down a little bit.

"That is more like the friends I know." She ate a french fry and shook her head then suddenly confused. "What does this have anything to do with your news?" She said while looking at Caroline. "And what were you saying about the other night?"

"Well I overheard Damon and Elena talking. It was about me and some of his other girlfriends and he said he felt really guilty for all that he as done. He even mentioned me again and said he would have taken it back. The whole time I was listening I just wanted to barge over to him and scream liar in his face but then today... Today he showed up at my house as I was getting ready." Caroline said while I nearly choked to death after drinking my water. He went to go see her?

"What happened?" I said in a whisper and Bonnie gave me a suspicious look.

"Well I invited him in and I was really hesitant at first but then... he apologized! He told me all the secrets he kept from me and that he was generally sorry. And guess what? I actually believe him." In the back of my mind I was praying she didn't do some confessing of her own. I only noticed now how weird it was for him not to be texting me at all. Usually when we aren't near each other for an hour we have to be constantly on the phone somehow communicating.

"Oh." Was all I could manage. I felt Bonnie's hand grab mine under the table. I swear sometimes she could read my mind while Caroline was oblivious.

"Yea so I need you to break things off with him tonight." I wasn't expecting that I immediately straightened out. So she didn't tell him? I was relieved until suddenly what she was asking sunk in. I don't think I could do it.

"Why would she have to do that?" Bonnie asked in a carefree way but I knew she was silently sticking up for me.

"Because I am going to try to work things out with him and it would be complicated if he was still with her. There is a party at the boarding house tomorrow and I'm going to just go up to him a kiss him." I think my heart nearly stopped. "Then I'm going to tell him that I forgive him and we could work things out."

"Caroline what makes you think he wants to work things out?" I managed to get out.

"Oh please. It was so clear when he was talking about me to you that he still loves me. You are just oblivious sometimes Elena." She said while rolling her eyes. It felt like the air was starting to get thicker as the racing thoughts weren't slowing down in my head. Had I been oblivious this whole times? Was I just a girl to him? Was I even special to him? I thought I was... different. "Elena are you okay? It looks like your head is about to explode."

"What? I'm just..." Panicking. "Did they put mushrooms in this?" I said while pointing to my pasta. They both knew I was allergic to mushrooms. "They definitely put mushrooms in there. I specifically asked for no mushrooms." I knew there was no mushrooms in the pasta, I just needed an excuse.

"Lets go outside and gets some air." Bonnie said.

"I'm going to talk to the manager and give them a piece of my mind..." Caroline rushed over to the waiter as Bonnie took me outside.

"Elena are you okay? I know there were no mushrooms..." I slid down against the brick wall on the side of the Grill.

"I'm the worst friend ever!" I said while breaking down into tears. I couldn't do it. I couldn't break up with Damon. "I can't... I can't do it Bonnie." She slid down next to me and wrapped her arms around me. "I know. And I don't understand how Caroline doesn't see how much you like him."

"You could tell?" I said slightly mortified. "I didn't know it was so apparent."

"Elena you know what you have to do though, right?" I knew what was right but it has never felt so wrong before.

"I don't know how I could." I mumbled out.

"Elena you have to break things off. You got in over you head. If you don't end it, a lot of people are going to get hurt."

"I know, Bonnie! I know! I get it! You think I haven't realized that?"

"Elena, you are going to have to take this very selfish thing you have done and be very selfless to fix it. And maybe one day all the pieces will just fall in place. But you are lying. You aren't a liar. I can see how much you have fallen for him and if you actually want this to work, you have to either tell him the truth with no lies or you have to let him go." Let him go... Could I do that? Could I let this relationship I thought I was faking go? I didn't have a choice. I had to say goodbye.

"There were no mushrooms in your pasta but I complained about food poisoning. They gave us a free meal. Are you feeling any better?" She crushed down next to us. Caroline tried and I was never going to deny that she had her times of being a great friend. I knew I had to break things off for her. Whether I agreed that Damon wants her back or not.

"I just needed some air." I said while standing up as Bonnie and Caroline followed, looking at me with uneasy glances. "I'll talk to Damon for you Caroline."

"Elena it can wait if you aren't feeling good."

"It's fine Caroline. The sooner the better. If you guys don't mind though, I need to go home. I'll call Damon in the morning." I pushed past them in a more cold way then I had intended but I couldn't manage to care. Tomorrow I was going to destroy everything.

_**AN: Okay I have the next three chapter mapped out. I know it is short but I can promise that I will update before the weekend. I'm way too excited not to. Lets just say A LOT of stuff is about to go down:)  
><strong>_

_**Review!**_


	8. Drowning in my regrets

_** "The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it."**_

_**Wendell Berry**_

I was sitting in the middle of my bed with my phone laying a foot away from me. I've been staring at that phone for what felt like hours but I didn't have the guts to just pick the phone up and call Damon. The sun was shining through my window and landed right on the phone. It was almost like God was telling me to hurry up and get over with already. I could do this, right? I mean all I had to do was say 'Hey I think we need a break'. That was simple enough. So why is it taking me so long to just do it? I already accepted this day will come. I had to get this over with before Caroline goes and kisses him and makes me look like a fool.

With shaky hands I picked up the phone and hesitantly dialed his number. I stared at the phone and then forced myself to bring it up to my ear. After a couple rings I started praying for a voicemail. My hopes came crashing down as the soft familiar voice came into hearing range.

"Hey Damon, it's Elena." I mumbled into the phone. I had this image of Caroline kissing him in my head and it wouldn't go away. I couldn't even concentrate on my words. All I could think about was lips on lips and blonde curly hair and cocky smirks.

"I know it's you." Damon's laugh brought me back to earth and my brain didn't have enough time to kick in before words I'm sure I'll regret flew out.

"You wouldn't cheat on me would you?" There was a long pregnant pause and I swear I could just slap myself for getting so caught up. Those words definitely weren't break up starters. I should have went with 'We should talk' or 'I think we should just be friends' followed by a 'It's me, not you.' Why couldn't I do that? "I mean..."

"You think I cheated on you?" Damon was very defensive and I almost flinched. I was not expecting that reaction.

"No, no, no." I quickly cleared it up before we got into an unnecessary fight. "That's not what I was saying."

"Then what are you saying? I thought that being honest with you from the start, we wouldn't have these problems." His words cut deep. Honest. He thought we were in a honest relationship. I am so stupid sometimes. I was nothing even close to honest with him. And I had so many opportunities!

"I know...it's just." I took a deep breath, trying to straighten out my thoughts. "If a girl came up to you and just kissed you, what would you do?"

"I don't know where this is coming from but I don't want to be kissing any other girls but you." I was suddenly calmed down by his tone. I actually believed him with all my heart. Surely he would push her away. "You know I have issues with my brother but I trust you around him. Can you trust me back not to hook up with anyone else?"

"You really trust me?" I whispered into the phone. If I could ever feel any lower...

"Completely." He was so confident and I knew in that moment, I had to tell him the truth. There was no getting away from it.

"Good, cause you can trust me. I'm sorry for doubting you."

"Elena I just want you to know that if I had it my way, I would have skipped all those other girls if I could have met you sooner." I tried my best to suppress the butterflies. Why does he have to say things like that? It doesn't really help when he is sweet and I'm feeling guilty. "So what time are you going for dinner?"

"I'm going to be leaving in a couple hours, I should start getting ready." I stood up and walked over to my closest, looking for something to wear. "I have to meet my aunts new boyfriend. If I would have known this sooner, I would have invited you."

"Ooh, would that is just getting closer to meeting your parents and you know what that means..." I couldn't help but laugh. Figures he would think about that. "I'm just kidding. But take your time. The party isn't going anywhere."

"Listen, Damon tonight I have something I need to tell you."

"Okay, we will talk later. I have to go." He sounded rushed so I just dropped it. We said our goodbyes and I was feeling excited and yet very nervous. I needed to tell him. I was going to tell him but what if he hates me and never wants to see me again? That would rip me apart. He had every right to be mad, I mean if someone did that to me... I had to stop these negative thoughts. I had to think of how great it would be if he finally knew and could forgive me.

I walked into my bathroom and started the shower and almost gasped. Our conversation did not go the way I planned. It's like I completed forgot everything. I unconsciously chose Damon over Caroline. How could I let this happen? And how can I not come to regret it? I had to talk to Caroline. I had to explain and hopefully she will understand. I didn't want this to happen, but it did. I got into the shower knowing one thing, for once I was going to be selfish.

* * *

><p>I walked up the path to Jenna's door, preparing myself for what tonight might bring. To be honest I just wanted to get this dinner over with already. I knocked on the door and waited patiently.<p>

"Elena!" Jenna opened the door all enthusiastic and I felt somewhat bad for trying to rush the dinner. I haven't seen her in so long. I wrapped my arms around her as she pulled me into the house. "I'm so happy you can make it."

"I missed you." I didn't even realize how caught up I got in my own life.

"I missed you too. Now, come meet Alaric." What? One half of my brain was telling me it was pure coincidence and the other was telling me that Alaric is not a name you hear every day. Please, don't be him...

"Alaric this Elena, Elena this is Alaric." Jenna introduced us when we reached the kitchen. I wanted to puke and I wanted to run away. This could not be happening. In was in fact Damon's Alaric that was cutting carrots in the kitchen. Alaric's face showed shock for a couple seconds till a fake smile came across his face.

"Nice to meet you Elena."

"You too." I managed to squeak out. How much did Jenna tell him about me? How much did Damon tell him about me? Why did I have to live in such a small town!

"I'll finish this up." Jenna said while going to the food in the kitchen. "You guys can go sit in the dinning room and get to know each other." Jenna flashed us a naive smile as she went to work. I slowly walked into her dinning room, praying that maybe Alaric would try to stay and help. I didn't have much luck as he followed me.

"So this is kind of awkward." I mumbled. I'm sure the way we first met was running through his head. We didn't really talk much but just the fact that I tried to flirt with him and he didn't like it when Damon came around made things tense. "You better treat my aunt right." I said getting it out of the way. "Or I'll make you suffer." I said with a straight face.

"I would never hurt Jenna but as we are on the topic of hurting the ones we love, I must bring up Damon." He said just as serious. I could tell he was angry.

"What about Damon?" I couldn't look at him. I didn't know how much he knew and I didn't want to give anything away.

"Damon has talked about you... a lot. And what he has said doesn't match up to what I've heard from your aunt."

"What exactly have you heard?" I whispered.

"Why would you lie about your parents?" Oh no, he knew. I groaned and put my head in my hands, hiding in shame.

"It's a long story." I was getting really emotional at getting caught. What do I tell Alaric? Do I tell him everything? Do I lie some more?

"It seems we have some time before Jenna comes in. Lets use it." He was a little softer now instead of abrasive. I knew he was trying to stick up for his friend but what was I going to do?

"I lied to Damon because... I didn't want to actually personalize things. I ended up doing just the opposite." I felt tears in my eyes as I tried to explain.

"What are you talking about?"

"If I tell you, can you please let me explain to Damon? I planned on telling him tonight." He hesitantly nodded so I went on. "Caroline Forbes is my best friend." Alaric's mouth hung agape but he didn't say anything. "When she found out Damon had been cheating on her, we thought it would be great if he got a taste of his own medicine. But things got out of hand! I was vulnerable when I agreed to it and after I met Damon I realized there is more than meets the eye and he's somewhat just like me. In a twisted way, I forgot about this stupid plan and then I mentioned what happened with Stefan and she thought it would be perfect to hurt him that way."

"Oh no." Alaric whispered.

"That's not going to happen." I said before he got any ideas. "After that I said I couldn't do things anymore and Caroline and I both agreed to end what we were doing. And tonight she is going to try to win him back." The last statement came out bitter and he noticed.

"Okay." I watched as he thought things over. I'm sure he was conflicted on what to do. "I won't tell Damon. But you are going to." He said firmly.

"Thank you." Jenna came busting into the room after that, breaking the serious mood. The rest of the night went somewhat well. There was still tension between Alaric and I but it was bearable. I now had to tell Damon and for some reason I was excited about it. I shouldn't be. I should be freaking out. The rest of the night went fast and it brought back memories of the nights I spent with Jenna when I lived with her. I forgot how nice it was to be with family. There was no betrayal and no lies. Even with Alaric there, it was a fresh of breath air.

At the end of the dinner I excused myself, now even more eager to get to Damon. If things went the way I wanted it tonight I would enjoy the party with Damon and then talk with him afterward. Hopefully he would get mad and then calm down and forgive me as we started an honest relationship. Sure, maybe it was a little too optimistic but it was all that I could think to push me to telling the truth. I didn't want to think of him throwing me out of his life forever or him going back to Caroline. Those just weren't options.

I already said goodbye to Jenna and Alaric and as I walked to the door someone pulled me back. It was Alaric and before I could question hes started talking.

"Damon wont go for Caroline. I can promise you that." There was sincerity in his eyes and I felt suddenly reassured by that situation. "When you tell him the truth it will take a while for him to be cool again, but it won't be as bad because you are telling him."

"That means a lot."

"Chances are that things will be okay. Don't screw it up." He said with a smile and I couldn't help but think how tonight turned from horrible to somewhat good.

"Thanks, again. Are you coming to the party."

"No. I'm spending the night with Jenna." I let a smile slip and then I left, quickly rushing to my car. I was so happy that things could be okay. That maybe all this worrying could turn out for the best.

* * *

><p>When I reached the boarding house I texted Damon to meet me outside. It looked like a frat party exploded all over the place. There were people out in the front yard with the occasional person passed out on the lawn. I didn't even realize Damon reached me when I felt his arms wrap around and squeeze me.<p>

"Why are you so happy?" He asked while letting go but keeping one arm around me.

"What?"

"You have had a giant ass grin on your face since I saw you."

"Oh, I totally just owned my parallel parking job." I pointed to my car as he laughed at me.

"I like a women who can take pride in the simplest things." He said and then suddenly became stiff.

"What's wrong?" I said noticing his face suddenly become serious.

"Someone just showed up, who was certainly not invited." I tried looking who he was talking about but he was already walking away from me. "I'll meet you inside Elena, I just have to take care of this."

"Okay." I shrugged and then went back to walking to the house. I then froze when I saw that Caroline was leaning against the door, clearly witnessing everything that went down since I arrived.

"What was that?" She demanded as she walked up and got in my face. "That clearly wasn't the after effects of a break up!"

"I know, Caroline I'm sorry. I couldn't do it."

"Couldn't do it? You couldn't leave my boyfriend alone!" She yelled and I quickly glanced around and saw that there were some people staring at us.

"He isn't your boyfriend Caroline!" I yelled back not caring about the audience.

"What, he is yours? This was supposed to be fake Elena! Fake!" I gulped back the lump in my throat and she noticed. "That's it, isn't it? You forgot it was fake?"

"Caroline listen..."

"No, you listen. You were supposed to break up with him. You were supposed to leave him alone. A good friend would have!"

"A good friend? I've been nothing but a good friend!" I couldn't believe this was happening after all that I've been though with her she was saying I wasn't a good friend to her!

"Really? What kind of friend would you call the one who falls for the guy I was dating? The guy who is mine?"

"He isn't yours! He never was. And who said I fell for him?"

"Oh please, you think I didn't notice? I warned you about him. You didn't even listen. I hate you Elena. You don't even care how I feel. I loved him and you thought it was okay to take whatever you wanted!"

"That's not true!"

"Ever since your parents died it has been about you, you, you. This time it is about me. I'm about to show you exactly who Damon Salvatore is and who he belongs to." She looked at me with disgust as she marched back into the boarding house and slammed the door. Oh god, what was she going to do?

_**AN: Hey everyone, I know I said I'd update before the weekend but I got sick. This took me like 4 days to write so sorry if it feels spaced. Next chapter is going to be huge:) **_

_**Who do you think showed up uninvited? What do you think Caroline is going to do? Do you think Elena will be able to tell Damon the truth? **_

_**Review! **_


	9. Got a few tears to dry

_** "And yet to every bad there's a worse."**_

_**Thomas Hardy**_

The moment I walked into the party a wave of unease came over me. It was almost like a sixth sense that something was going to go wrong. I felt suffocating. I couldn't place the feeling but it is the same way I felt after I hung up the phone the night I called my parents to pick me up before we went crashing off the bridge. If I didn't know better, I should trust that feeling and get the hell out of there. I couldn't do that thought because I had obligations and I had to make sure if any facts came out of someone's mouth but my own I had to be there before things escalated. I had to keep my guard up for the night but I also needed to get Caroline's words out of my head. I was seriously considering either being completely sober and cling to Damon for the night or get seriously shitfaced and if anything bad happened then that is just how fate worked. But lets face it, I'm not the throw all to the wind girl anymore.

I was pushing past people through the house, looking for a little bit of a space where I could at least not have to put on a fake smile and talk to someone. I then found an empty couch and flopped down on it as I watched the people around me. I didn't even notice Damon sit beside me till his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"Hey." I said hesitantly. I turned to look at him and saw something wasn't right. He was tense and seemed miles away. "What happened?"

"Nothing." He muttered and I knew by his tone he didn't want me to bring it up again but just the look on his face showed something happened. I couldn't sit around and not do something about it.

"Okay." I dropped it for the moment but I planned on bringing it up again. "Can I-" I couldn't even finish my sentence before I felt his lips come crashing down on mine. I was completely taken off guard and didn't have time to react before he pulled away and glared at me. I gave him a confused look but before I could say anything he kissed me again, trying to force the passion into it made it more aggressive and I wasn't having it. One, we were in the middle of a crowded living room and I so wasn't going to be the girl that you see making out hardcore in the middle of a party and two, this kiss was fueled by something not even close to desire. It was forced from both ends and when I pushed him away I saw a look of frustration. "Damon, what is going on?"

"What? I can't kiss my girlfriend?" He said and before he could lean in again my hands flew up to his chest.

"Not like that. You can't use me as a distraction. It doesn't work that way."

"Then what is it supposed to be like Elena? Not everything has to follow rules. There are no rules that have to be set." He suddenly stood up from the couch and ran a hand through his hair. "Not everything has to be the way things are set up to be." I had a feeling he wasn't even talking about the forced kiss but something completely different. "I mean, we can change how things are, right?" He took a deep breath when his eyes landed on me again. "I'm not bound to my same old patterns and routines, am I? Things can change."

"Where is this coming from?" I asked while standing up and grabbing his hands.

"I just need some air." He pushed away from me and was suddenly swerving through people and I couldn't see him anymore. I was about to go after him and then stopped when I spotted Caroline in the corner of the room staring at me. I quickly looked away feeling awkward but when I glanced back she suddenly disappeared.

* * *

><p>I sat on the same couch for what felt like hours as I sipped the drink Stefan brought over to me around ten minutes ago. I couldn't help but wonder where Damon went and what the hell happened to make him so sketchy. When I got here everything was perfectly fine. I knew something was going to be wrong tonight. But the sick feeling that there was more didn't go away.<p>

"Stefan!" I called across the room and when he spotted me I waved him over.

"Need another drink?" I shook my head and then pulled him down onto the couch next to me.

"What is with your brother?" I felt him tense up beside me and then a frown appeared on his face. "And what is with you?" I watched as his mouth opened to answer but no words were coming out.

"Did Damon... did her ever mention Katherine." What? Where did she come from?

"Is she here? Where is she?" I started looking around the house even thought I had no idea what she looked like.

"I take it he did mention her. Katherine showed up tonight. I saw them fighting and I'm pretty sure he made her leave." So that was why he was so... off.

"Oh my god. Is he going to be okay? Should I go find him? Are you okay?"

"Slow down, Elena." He gave a little laugh and I frowned. "I'm fine, I'm so over her and I thought Damon was too. I don't understand why he is so upset. Maybe she said something to him."

"I should go find him." I stood up from the couch and started looking around. "Do you have any idea where he went?"

"Actually..." I saw some sort of reluctance in him as he knew the answer.

"Spit it out."

"I think I saw him head upstairs with this girl named Caroline. You may have seen her around she is the bubbly blonde."

"Stefan there is like fifty bubbly blondes here." I mumbled as I walked away. It's not like I needed a better description. No, Damon couldn't be with here. Stefan was just seeing things. I walked around the room and glanced out on the porch but I didn't see anyone.

"Elijah!" I called one of Damon's friends I have met before I saw him standing by the stairs and rushed over to him. "Have you seen Damon anywhere?"

"Yea, he just went up a few minutes ago."

"Was he with anyone?"

"Yep." He said and then took a sip from his beer. I didn't need to ask anymore questions as I ran up the stairs. When I got to the top it was almost dead quiet except from the background noise coming from downstairs. I looked around and went down a hallway that I knew led to Damon's room. When I heard talking I tiptoed over to a cracked door. I peered through the slit and could see Caroline and Damon. It looked like they were fighting. I got a little closer, trying to see if I could hear them.

"Come on, Damon. I know you missed me."

"Tonight is really not the night for this Caroline." Damon said and it looked like he just wanted to get out of there. I sighed, thinking maybe all those worrying thoughts were for nothing. He did promise that he wouldn't cheat on me.

"Why don't you show me how much you missed me." I almost puked when Caroline started putting the moves on him and Damon didn't even move. He just stood there perfectly still as he let her hands roam all over his chest.

"Caroline." He said while grabbing a hold of her hand. At first I thought he was stopping her, but the look on her face showed she saw it as an opportunity and quickly kissed him. My jaw almost hit the floor and I felt all sorts of betrayal from her. I knew she was going to do it, but I just thought maybe...

I thought for sure Damon would push her away but I didn't realize how it was taking him a while. It was like he was frozen solid and had indecision written all over him. Why wasn't he moving? Why wasn't he telling her off? What the hell? He suddenly started kissing her back and backing her up against the wall and that's when I suddenly felt my feet running away. It didn't even hit me exactly what happened but apparently my body was functioning better then my brain as it made a get away.

I can't believe they did that. I can't believe I believed Damon! I never felt such a stab to my heart and such a suffocating pain before. It didn't even compare to Matt's betrayal. How could this happened? I rushed down the stairs and spotted Elijah. Without thinking I walked right up to him and grabbed his beer while walking away. I started chugging it while making my way through the people. I wasn't going to let Damon walk all over me. I wasn't going to appear to be the stupid girl that I felt like right now. Damon was going to get a taste of his own medicine tonight. And I was going to make sure it hurt.

_**AN: I lost my motivation for writing and I'm trying to get it back. I hope you liked this chapter and next will be full of drama as well. Any guesses of what is going to happen? **_

_**Review:)**_


	10. Putting on all the right faces

_**"A tragedy need not have blood and death; it's enough that it all be filled with that majestic sadness that is the pleasure of tragedy."**_

_**Jean Racine **_

I didn't care about any of the strange looks I got or if I was that girl at the party who was desperate to drown in alcohol. It wasn't like I was crawling on the floor, begging for attention. In fact if everyone just disappeared at this moment I would have been fine. I would have been thankful. I didn't even want to look at anyone at his party. It was like I was surrounded in a group of supporters of him. I hated him so that meant I hated them as well. I used to hate it when people said "You are guilty by association." I heard it enough from my parents growing up but I never felt like I'd be the one grouping people.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know how I was going to react but drink after drink just caused my thoughts to become darker. It was actually somewhat sad and pathetic. I shouldn't have been so naive. It made me sick to my stomach about how many times I was warned and I just stupidly gave him the benefit of the doubt. It felt like and explosion was just waiting to go off inside me. I wanted to keep calm. I wanted to have some class, but in the back of my mind I knew that was bullshit. I just wanting time to think things through without getting obnoxious.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to call his ass out and show all of his little followers what kind of guy he was. It wouldn't shock me if they already knew though. A guy like that couldn't have fooled them all. I mean, how many girls has he done this to? I sure as hell wasn't the only one that he has ripped apart. I'm so stupid how could I-

"There you are." I couldn't even have a hatefest in my head without someone interrupting me. I turned towards the voice that I already knew, to see the devil himself.

"It is not like I was hiding." I didn't want it to sound bitter but it came out that way. All I knew is after that I had to put on facade in order to even look at him. I had to break it off with him so I didn't look like such an idiot. I didn't want him to think I was ending things because he cheated. I wanted him to think I just didn't want him.

"I was looking everywhere for you."

"Should have looked harder." When did you find out I wasn't shoved down Caroline's throat? "Listen we need to talk." I said as he pulled me off into a direction where it was more quiet.

"I know, I need to tell you something." He stopped pulling me through the people and into the kitchen were there was only a few people.

"Me too. It's important." I had no idea what I was doing or what was so important. The only thing I knew was that I was ending things right now.

"I really need to explain something to you and I don't want you to be mad but-"

"I'm a lesbian." The lie slipped out the moment it came into my head. I thought maybe it would hurt his ego but once I said it I knew it wasn't going to fly.

"What?" He said with a completely dumbstruck look on his face. "No you are not." He said while rolling his eyes and I could tell he wanted to keep talking.

"Yea, I'm so into gi- you are right I'm not." I cut that breakup excuse before I could actually attempt it. I really couldn't pull that off.

"Where is this coming from?" I opened my mouth to respond but the moment I did someone rudely pushed through us while spilling something. "Let's talk somewhere more private. Meet me in my room in ten minutes." He said while disappearing in a group of people that suddenly appeared in the kitchen.

* * *

><p>After the mention of his room, he brought back my strong fiery as I thought of recent events in that room. What did he expect? He was just going to make out and do god knows what with Caroline and then go back to me and be all casual. No fucking way was this going to happen. No, he needed to learn a lesson and I wasn't going to sit around. A plan formed in my head and I knew that I had to do it. I had to hurt him. He had to know what this felt like. Even if he didn't care about me at least I would be known for pulling it off.<p>

I wanted him to know the moment he found someone he loved, what they could do to him, that he wasn't bulletproof from being just as heartbroken.

I made my way back into the living room. My eye caught Stefan talking to someone in the corner of the room. I grabbed a semi-empty drink off the table and moved towards him. I didn't need to act much because I was already not thinking straight.

"Stefan!" I squealed while stumbling over into his arms.

"Oh man, you are trashed!"

"I'm not trashy." I mumbled while frowning.

"That's not what I said." I heard him whisper, sounding somewhat annoyed. I heard him apologizing to the person he was talking to as he led me over to a chair. "Sit here, I'm going to go get Damon."

"No!" I yelled as he gave me a confused look. "I want you to take care of me." I put on my best pouting face and he laughed. "You owe me, remember?"

"I remember." He sighed and then went to take the random class out of my hand. "I'll take you up stairs. You should probably lay down." He picked me up and started heading towards the stairs. I couldn't help but let a little smile escape. Now I was never one to be devious but this was working out quite well if you asked me.

I felt the light bounces while heading up the stair and only for a moment did guilt set in before I tried to push it away. I know it isn't a good thing to regret something that hasn't happened yet. I also knew nothing good was going to come from the situation.

"You are such a good guy Stefan." I mumbled into the crook of his neck. "Why can't your brother be more like you?" I didn't know if I was acting at that moment or not. For so long I thought deep down Damon had good in his heart, he just needed someone to free it. Now I didn't know what to think. Who knows what I was wrong about.

"What did he do now?" He asked while opening the door to Damon's room and then setting me down on the floor.

"Damon was just being Damon." I said while flopping down on the edge of Damon's bed.

"You'll get used to him over time." I heard Stefan from far away and I looked up to see him coming out of the bathroom with a glass in his hand.

"Maybe I don't want to get used to it." I looked up at him with the best innocent expression I could pull off. I wasn't feeling too innocent at this moment.

"You should drink this." He gave me the water and it was clear he was uncomfortable. I took the glass willingly but set it down on the table next to me and then looked back to a confused Stefan.

"You are a lot different from Damon." I stood up so I was standing in front of him. "You've never hurt me like he has."

"Elena, I don't know what is-"

"You wouldn't hurt me, would you Stefan?" I interrupted him while moving closer. "I'm tired of being hurt by guys."

"I should go." He said while trying to pull away but I grabbed his arm before he could.

"Something tells me you aren't like those other guys."

"I'm not."

"Then show me." I whispered and then leaned up on my tippy toes, pressing my lips against his. The kiss was foreign and uncomfortable. His lips didn't fit with mine but I shoved that into the back of my head and tried to deepen the kiss but he pushed me away.

"Elena you are my brothers girlfriend. I can't do this."

"Like that has ever stopped you before." My words were hard and cold which caused a look of hurt cross his features. I immediately felt bad. This was about Damon, not Stefan. What was I doing? I was about to ruin a brotherhood during its repair. Any regret and guilt was wiped away when Stefan had started to furiously kiss me back. Now I was the hesitant one but that didn't stop me from going for my goal. I broke the kiss and pushed Stefan back against the bed and did my best to give him a sultry smile. There was something in my stomach that churned that this was all wrong. I pushed the feeling away as I sat in Stefan's lap and continued to kiss him back.

It was as if I had planned this out perfectly. I practically choreographed it all as I heard the door opening. It might as well have been my play and on cue Damon waltzed right in 'catching' us in the act. The first thought I had was to quickly scream it wasn't what it looked like. I had to remember it was in fact what it looked like and I'm the one who planned it. I'm the one who made it this way I should be congratulating myself, I should be celebrating the fact that I accomplished what I believed was impossible. I had to remember this was all an act. And I had to play the part.

"Oh Damon, how nice of you to join us." I gave him a wicked smile and then glanced down at the horrified Stefan beneath me. "Wanna make an Elena sandwich? Or would it be a Salvatore sandwich? Either way I'm down with it." I said towards Damon. The moment I saw a look of hurt flash through his eyes I felt sick. I wanted to throw up and disappear but his look of hurt was almost immediately turned to an emotionless mask. In the same night I told him he could trust me, I ripped that trust right from him.

"It's not what it looks like." Of course Stefan would say that.

"It is." I said while giggling. This whole persona was only frustrating myself. I thought it was best but I'm starting to believe I was wrong.

"Get out." He didn't yell or scream which shocked me. I was prepared for a scene and something told me I just needed to be patient.

"I was kind of in the middle of something." I shot back.

"Get the fuck out of my house!" Oh here comes the rage. "Both of you!" I jumped off Stefan and watched as he timidly got up.

"Listen, Damon-" Stefan began.

"Don't." Was all he said and the glare he gave Stefan was enough to make me shudder.

"I didn't mean for it to happen. Please, we are family! You can't kick me out!" I didn't even realize that was a factor right now.

"We are not family. Blood doesn't make you family. Leave." He pointed to the door as Stefan hung his head and quickly rushed out.

"Well this has been fun and all but-"

"Is this all a game to you?" He interrupted me and I had to keep my cool.

"Why? Am I winning?"

"Who the hell are you?" He whispered while looking me up and down. That was enough to shake me into reality. Who was this person that has taken over me? I don't remember ever being like this. My parents would be disgusted with me. My act was completely gone and I was now petrified to be alone with him.

"Damon I-" I stopped when an even more frightening look then what he gave to Stefan was aimed in my direction. It made me want to burst into tears. He opened the door wider for me and I shuffled towards it. The moment I was next to him he leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"The only reason why I had even gave the slightest interest in you was because you were a project. Don't mistake yourself for being any better." I glanced up at him with tears spilling over. "You're disgusting." He spat while pushing me through the door then slamming it in my face. I could hear loud bangs and things smashing from inside his room as I made a run for it. I couldn't be in this house anymore. I left my heart in that room and I was stupid to believe that this would make me feel better.

I was certain that this wasn't one of those things that could be forgiven. It was funny how just one night could ruin my life.

_**AN: So I've been putting off writing this and I wanted it to be perfect but I'm having such a hard time finding motivation. I've never had this problem so bad before but I'm trying. **_

_**I love how so many of you knew exactly where I was going to take this. This has pretty much been the plan from the start and I hope it came out okay. Thanks for reading. **_

_**Review!**_


	11. I miss the days when life was simple

_**"The torture of a bad conscience is the hell of a living soul." **_

_**John Calvin**_

I opened my eyes to a brightly lit room as the sun beamed in through my windows. I spent a good amount of time motionless with my eyes clamped shut even though I was wide awake. I've never felt so hollow before. I still can't quite believe all of what happened and now what it all means. I've never been so calm before in such a drastic and tragic situation. It was all for the small amount of sanity I had left or I may crack. But deep down I knew that this calm easy feeling would soon be shattered the moment the world flooded back into my life.

I forced myself out of the bed and glanced at the clock. I had to be in class soon and it was strange that the world was still going on when I felt like for a moment it all stopped for me. I went through all the motions of my usual day not daring to let my mind wander to the forbidden subject. I made sure to be occupied with the simple tasks of drying my hair, eating breakfast and then straightening up the house before I left. The moment where the weight I have been holding off crashed on to me was while I was driving to school. I couldn't occupy my thoughts any longer and my heart just couldn't take covering this pain up anymore. There was no way of stopping the sobs and endless tears as they escaped and cloud up my vision.

The moment I came to terms I almost swerved into the car next to me. The loud sound of a horn sent me back to the real world as I began to panic and quickly pulled over. I can't believe I thought this could all be easy. Maybe I'm just lost. I've made so many mistakes in life, I always knew that. But I never felt like I betrayed myself till now. I've never felt regret so deep in my bones. The last time I felt the earth-shattering guilt of a mistake was when my parents died. It was my fault. Almost every single moment where I have been so torn up by my pain was caused by something I did. The worst part is I have no one else to blame for these moments.

I sat with my head leaning against the steering wheel for what felt like hours. The tears stopped and the sobs became silent as I felt the shell of a person I never wanted to be return to me. The easiest way to get through things is to detach yourself but it was also the most selfish with a high price to pay; loneliness.

I jumped when a loud bang came from my window and a construction worker singled that I had to get out of the way. I waved apologetically and pulled back out onto the street and started driving to school again. It didn't take long for me to reach the campus but I was surprisingly not as late as I thought I would be. I slowly crept into my class and it would just figure it would be the one I had with Stefan and Caroline. I didn't see any either of them in the room so I quickly rushed to the back, doing my best to be inconspicuous.

The room quickly filled up and when I saw Caroline walk in I nearly gasped. She was wearing sweats with her hair up and almost looked exactly like myself; heartbroken. It wasn't like Caroline to not look at her best. My first instinct was to rush to her and see what was wrong but that obviously wasn't an option. I still don't know if it will ever be the same between us. I watched her carefully and then quickly glanced away as her eyes connected with mine. I didn't look over to Caroline again but watched for Stefan till the class started and it was apparent he wasn't showing up.

It felt like the longest class I've ever had as the minutes slowly ticked away. And once it did finally end I was the first with my stuff packed up and out the door. I rushed to my car, not wanting to accidentally bump into Caroline. I had my keys out and ready to go but as I approached my car I saw someone standing at my door. The keys slipped from my hand as I saw Stefan there with a guilty expression on his face. I bent down and picked up the keys while timidly walking towards him.

"Stefan." I said warily. I didn't... couldn't deal with him right now.

"I didn't have the guts to go in there." He said while nodding towards the building.

"Well you missed a good lesson. You should have had someone take notes for you."

"We need to talk about last night." Like shit we do.

"I really don't want to go there Stefan." I said firmly and was tempted to push him out of the way and making a get away.

"I just wanted to say that you are a great girl and all..." He trailed off and I was trying to follow along.

"And you are a great guy but-"

"Me and you..." He said as if he was deep in thought.

"We aren't right."

"Exactly." I let out a breath at knowing we were on the same page. " I was just confused." He added.

"And I was drunk."

"I'm glad you feel the same way." I watched as he let out a familiar relieved breath. "Friends?" I nodded and we both went in for a hug but awkwardly both decided against it and gave a handshake instead. Much better. "What all happened though? I've never seen you act that way." The embarrassment and shame immediately resurfaced and I felt like getting sick. I really made a fool of myself.

"I'm so sorry Stefan. For everything. I really didn't want to ruin your relationship, things just got out of hand." I said sincerely sorry. I felt horrible for all the trouble I caused.

"It wasn't all your fault. There is a reason we have issues. Sometimes I cross lines that no brother should cross."

"I saw Damon..." I couldn't even get the words out, they hurt so much. "He-" I tired but I couldn't do it. All I could see was Caroline kissing him and then him pulling her into his embrace. "He really hurt me." I choked out and looked at my feet while blinking back tears. "I was so hurt and I wanted to hurt him back. I'm sorry." I felt so ashamed.

"I get it." I heard him sigh. I knew he was mad at me. I destroyed there relationship. "What did he do?"

"I found him making out with my best friend."

"Ouch." Stefan hissed. "Sounds like you guys have to talk."

"I don't think talking is what will happen. We are done Stefan. Hopefully we'll never run into each other again." It was only what I could hope. This town was too small.

"Doubt it." Was all he said as he started backing up. "I have to go, but I'll see you around."

"Bye. Again, I'm sorry!" I waived him off and quickly got into my car before he could come back. Our conversation was civil and the best I could have hoped for but it still left a bitter taste in my mouth.

The rest of my day was spent on my couch in silence. I needed a moment away from everything and I was starting to realize how my thoughts could eat me up as I was annoyed with my own company. It was getting late but I knew I was never going to be able to sleep. I was about to call someone when my phone rang before I could even look through my phone. I saw it was Jenna and automatically answered it.

"Hello?"

"Elenaaaa." You have got to be kidding me.

"Jenna?"

"Can you come get me?" I heard her slur.

"Are you drunk?"

"I need you to come to the Grill and take me home. Please? Elena, pleasssseee." I rolled my eyes and started looking for my keys. I could use the distraction.

"I'll be there in a few minutes." I hung up the phone while grabbing a sweatshirt and keys while leaving.

When I did finally reach the Grill I walked into see Jenna leaning against the bar with Alaric sitting next to her.

"Hey Rick." I waived at him and when he lazily waived back I frowned. "And whose taking you home?"

"His friend is coming." Jenna said while grabbing her purse. "Speaking of..." I followed their stares and saw the last person I wanted to see again. Damon walked into the Grill and walked towards us. I don't think he noticed me yet but I knew when he did, all hell was going to break loose.

_**AN: I know it is short. Sorry:( Thanks for your reviews. I know I said I'd update more this summer but I don't know what I was thinking because I've been busier than ever. Hopefully I'll be able to start updating more. **_

_**Review:). **_


	12. I've made a couple bad mistakes

_**"Of this alone, even God is deprived, the power of making things that are past never to have been." **_

_**Agathon**_

"Damon?" I said shocked that this was actually happening. His eyes met mine for the first time and I could see the hate he had for me all over his face.

"Come on, Rick. Let's go." He grabbed a hold of Alaric while not breaking eye contact with me once. He then turned around with Alaric following behind him.

"Damon, wait!" I called after and him and rushed through the Grill to catch up. There was so many things I wanted to tell him. I wanted to explain everything and I wanted him to explain things too. I wanted to understand and I wanted him to know how hurt I am and that was the only reason I did what I did.

Damon was out in the parking lot by the time I reached the door of the Grill and it seamed like he wouldn't stop for anything. "Please!" I didn't expect it to come out so desperate but that must have been what stopped Damon as he slowly turned around to look at me. "Just give me five minutes to explain. You owe me that."

"I don't owe you anything!"

"I take it you didn't tell him yet." Alaric said next to Damon and I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration.

"Not now Rick." I shot daggers at him and I think he got the gist and started walking back to Damon's car. Once we were alone I looked back to Damon to see him glaring at me in disgust.

"Damon, I was with the same guy for four years. I'm not good with relationships because I haven't had many. I went through some hard stuff in high school and I thought I had to grow up so fast. I thought I had to hang on to people because before you knew it they would be gone." I didn't know where to start off or what to say to him so I just said whatever came to mind in this moment. But I knew nothing I could say would make up for anything I did. "So that's what I did, I hung on to Matt and then he fell in love with someone else because me hanging on was suffocating. I felt like I wasn't good enough after that. The fear of losing the people I care about most, drives them away. It has been a pattern all my life."

"What high school thing could have happened to make this all acceptable to you?" It hurt for only a moment the way he was undermining my pain but I suddenly realized I had to tell him the truth for him to fully understand.

"My parents are dead Damon. They died when I was sixteen and their death really messed me up." The emotions were written all over his face as he went from shocked to pitying me and then stayed with anger.

"What didn't you tell me?" He whispered.

"Because it was easier to pretend that way."

"Why would you want to pretend with me?"

"I have so many flaws it's pathetic. And I understand if you never want to see me again. But you have to understand the reason I did what I did was because... I just wanted you to know the pain I felt when I saw you kiss Caroline." It was hard to get the words out and he just stared at me.

"You saw that?" He mumbled out and his eye contact faltered as he looked anywhere but at me. After a long moment of silence I heard him chuckle without any humor in his voice. "You know the funny thing is, I was trying to tell you."

"What?" I wasn't following along.

"That night, Katherine showed up to the party." My eyes widened in shock and I kept listening. "Somehow she heard of you and tried so hard to convince me of what kind of guy I really am. She was pretty convincing and basically I believed I would never make you happy. I told her to go to hell and leave but her words were stuck in my head. I talked to you and the only thing I could think of was how bad I would hurt you. The thought made me sick." I felt even more guilty as his words were like knives that kept reminding me that I made a mistake. "Then Caroline showed up and did some more convincing and for a moment I slipped up. I was confused and I kissed her back but then something came over me and I realized that I wasn't that guy anymore. I changed... for you." He frowned while looking at me again. "What a joke that was, huh?"

"I'm so sorry." I knew those words would never be enough. "I was so hurt when I saw that. I wanted to hurt you so bad." I felt the tears pour out and there was nothing I could do. "Just so you know, there is absolutely nothing going on between Stefan and I. I used him. I thought that would be the only way to hurt you."

"Figures." I heard him say under his breath.

"I have so many things to apologize for and I know you can never be able to forgive but one thing I really want you to know it\s, I'm sorry that the night I told you you could trust me, I ripped that trust right from you. I'll regret it forever." Even after I poured my heart out his glare still didn't falter. The hate was written all over his face but he just wouldn't say it. "Please say something." It felt like minutes of silence.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Tell me you hate me. Tell me the sight of me disgusts you. Tell me everything you despise of me! Please! You hate me, just say it! You hate me!" I was screaming now on the brink of hysteria and all he did as I was screaming was move in closer and closer, forcing me to back up against the side of the Grill. "Say it Damon! Say what you have been wanting to the moment you saw me with your brother!"

"I hate... what you did." He said with a bitter strain on his voice. "I hate it so much." He pressed me against the wall and I couldn't even think straight.

"I hate me too." I whimpered out as I started to sob. Maybe I was imagining things but I thought for a second a moment of sympathy cross over his features. I pushed the thought away, it wouldn't be right for him to empathize my affliction.

"That's just the thing." He took a deep breath and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. "I can't." He whispered and it seemed that that frustrated him more then anything. "I try, but it's not in me."

"It should be. I'm a horrible person. Hate me, please. The one thing you should do is hate me." I wanted him to hate me so bad. I wanted to feel punished and that was the only fair way. I wanted to be hated. I deserved to be hated. Why couldn't he just do that? "Come on, you know you want to."

"Will you just shut up." He hissed.

"Not in till you just admit it that you ha-" I was suddenly cut off in the most surprising way ever. His lips were forced on mine and I could practically taste the aggravation and frustration coming from him. It was wrong to be passionate in a moment like this but I couldn't stop it. I have never had a kiss like this, one that was fueled by rage and was to shut me up.

"I'm so furious with you but that doesn't mean I hate you." He whispered then backed away and there was an eerie silence in the air.

"Elena?" I heard Jenna and I almost cursed under my breath.

"I'm coming. Meet me by my car!" I yelled over to the entrance of the Grill.

"Goodbye, Elena." Damon went to turn but I instantly tried to stop him.

"Wait." I gasped. How could he just leave after that? "Is there any way... that maybe one day you could forgive me?" All he did was turn in my direction for a second, meeting my gaze then turned back towards his car and kept walking.

_**AN: So I hope you liked it. Next chapter I think Damon will find out about the whole Caroline and Elena set up thing, which I'm excited for. I'll try to write it as soon as possible:) **_

_**Review! **_


	13. Something is dying inside me

_**Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.**_

_**Kahlil Gibran**_

Today was filled with an eerie sense of disaster and for some reason I've been on my toes. It was just in my gut that something awful was going to happen. I was walking up and down the grocery store isles and wasn't paying much attention when I came across the last person I had wanted to see on this day that was sure to turn into a catastrophe. Caroline was walking towards me, completely oblivious. I wasn't truly shocked until Stefan Salvatore turned the corner and walked right besides her. If I didn't know better I'd say they were here together. Since when did this happen?

I did the rational thing and quickly hid behind the cardboard advertisement at the end of the isle as I spied on them. I had to blink a couple times to see if what I was seeing was real life when their hands somehow were suddenly connected as they shopped. Holding hands? Grocery shopping? Talk about confusing and strange events.

I tried to slow down my breathing as they walked right past me and when I thought I was in the clear, I scooted away from the cut out and went back to shopping.

"Elena?" I turned around to see Caroline standing in front of the soups which she apparently forgot about.

"Hi." I said timidly as I pushed my hair behind my ear and thought of anywhere I'd rather be.

"Umm... how are you?" Caroline asked and I was almost taken back. I thought for sure we were about to have a cat fight in the middle of the store. But that didn't seem the case as she seemed almost...awkward in the situation. I'm so used to seeing Caroline so confident in anything she does, it was strange.

"Hanging in there. How about y-" My words were cut short as Stefan came up behind Caroline, reading something off the box he has in his hand as he was completely oblivious. "Stefan." I stated and his eyes lifted up towards me as shock flashed over his features.

"We- ah." Caroline stuttered looking in between us. "I was thinking about eating healthier so I asked Stefan to help me. He knows a thing or two. I mean you don't get his kind of muscles while eating chips." She tried a forced laugh and I couldn't help but smile slightly.

"I didn't know you guys were friends."

"We always knew of each other we just started hanging out." There was a long pause between the three of us and I was dying to break it and before I knew it words were slipping out.

"I'm sorry." Surprising it wasn't just me who said it but Caroline as well. I didn't even realize we were both laughing till Stefan slipped away.

"Elena listen, I'm so so so sorry for everything I did. I wasn't in the right mind frame and should have never asked you to do what I did. This is all my fault."

"I should have never agreed. This is just as much mine as it is yours."

"I know but I've done such horrible things. I knew you were falling for Damon but all I could think about was me me me." I was used to Caroline by now. I've known her all my life and I knew when she was sincerely sorry and I knew when she was still holding a grudge. For a moment I thought of all the fights we had in high school and how we always said we were done with each other only to end up laughing and being best friends again a hour later. And somehow it was just like that. Even when the pain was deeper and the past would always linger, I knew for a fact that she will always be one of my best friends.

"Caroline, please don't. Damon is... Damon and I had a falling out. Our friendship is a lot more important. I'm sorry I forgot that for a second." Tears started to form in her eyes and before I knew it she was wrapping her arms around me in a death grip.

"I can't believe we let that guy get the best of us." She said into my shoulder and I had to hold back my emotions from getting to me.

"So you and Stefan?" I asked as we pulled away.

"We are just friends... for now." She gave a typical Caroline smirk and I knew that just maybe we could be the same again. That maybe all of this drama wouldn't affect us the way I was so sure it would.

"I didn't see that one coming. Does he even know about you and Damon?"

"Yea, I told him everything. I mean everything." She made a point to emphasize it and I tried not to show my aggravation. I didn't need another person close to Damon knowing about this. I wasn't scared that he would find out, it was inevitable. I was scared that I might ruin his relationship with his best friend and now his brother. If their relationship wasn't already fucked up enough.

"What did he say?"

"That it made sense. He told me about what happened at the party. I can't believe I caused that much trouble."

"Caroline it is in the past. We are starting over. Lets just try not to bring it up again." I didn't get to say much more before Stefan appeared again. I quickly said my goodbyes before Stefan could cause anymore guilt in me. I couldn't even look at his brother how am I going to be able to tell Damon? I had to do that. I had to tell him the truth before he found out somewhere else. And I was completely aware what would happen. He would be so mad and I probably will never see him again. But I care too much about him and if this could right at least one of my wrongs than I had to do it.

The whole way home all I could think was how he would react. Would he curse me out? Would he leave silently with a look of betrayal? Will he do something to cause me pain? All these conclusions were just leading to one thing; my heart being broken.

* * *

><p>It was getting late in the evening and I sat in front of the TV, eating left over Chinese food when I heard my phone ring. I immediately decided to ignore it but it wouldn't stop ringing so I was forced to get up and grab it off the kitchen counter. I felt my heart speed up a little when I saw five missed calls from Bonnie. Oh no, what if something happened? I didn't even think before I clicked the call button.<p>

"Please be okay."

"Elena?" Bonnie finally answered and she was sobbing.

"Bonnie! What's wrong? Are you okay? What is going on?" My worry only intensified as she kept bawling into the phone.

"I'm so sorry Elena! I didn't know! I'm so sorry!"

"What is going on?" I was beyond the point of concern as she repeatedly apologized. My head kept going through all the possibilities and none of them were good.

"I didn't- I didn't know the guy from the bar... I didn't know he was the guy you..." She couldn't finish her sentences and I knew that whatever she did wasn't good.

"Bonnie..." I said hesitantly. "What did you do?" I couldn't hear her answer before the loud banging on my door interrupted her. The loud pounding didn't let up and I knew exactly who it was. I didn't even put the phone down as I inched my way over to the door and the bangs got louder and more urgent. It felt like it took a hour to open the door but I was able to do it and once it was creaked just a little bit I felt the force of him push the door all the way open and bust in.

"Tell me it's not true!" Damon screamed at me when he finally got in. "Tell me it is all a lie!"

"Damon..." Was all I could squeak out as the panic rushed up my throat and started to suffocate me. "I can't."

"You conniving little bitch." I flinched at the harshness of his words but in reality I deserved so much worse. "You were supposed to be different!"

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen!" My vision became blurry as the pain in my chest began to grow.

"This is exactly what you wanted! You planed for this exact moment!" He spat out and it only hurt worse that he didn't realize that last thing I wanted was this. He took a deep breath and gave me the most betrayed look. "Congratulations Elena, you did the impossible."

"No, you don't understand! I couldn't go through with it. I didn't want to."

"It doesn't even matter now." He suddenly got calm and it made me even more on edge than I was before. "You are irrelevant. You are nothing to me. Nothing!" He turned back to my door and when I saw he was about to leave I quickly clung to his jacket.

"Please let me explain! Don't leave like this!" He got out of my grip and just glared at me with that horrible look of betrayal I have been dreading.

"I hope you are miserable. Then maybe you would know just inkling of how I feel!"

"Don't leave." I begged as he was half way out the door. "Please!" I yelled but it didn't matter as he walked down the stairs on my porch. "Damon!" I screamed again not caring that I was causing a scene. "Come back! Please just give me a chance to talk to you!" He went on, not even looking back until he got to his car. With one last glance in my direction I saw the complete agony coming from him as he drove off. The retched feeling in my chest began to rip me apart with thoughts of my earlier prediction coming true. The desperation, bitterness and despair hit me all at once as I slid down the floor on my porch and let the titlewave of my emotions hit me with full force.

_**AN: I am so so so sorry for my lack of updating! I'm horrible, I know! I had such difficult time trying to find the effort to sit down and write this. I have no idea how it got to be such a long period of time. I usually always update at least once a week and that even usually bothers me. **_

_**Next chapter will explain a few things like how exactly Damon found out. I'm thinking I only have around 2 chapter left.  
><strong>_

_**Tell me what you think and review:) **_


	14. This Goodbye Hurts Like Hell

_**"Love is what moves the world, I've always thought it is the only thing which allows men and women to stand in a world where gravity always seems to want to pull them down...bring them low...and make them crawl."**_

_**— Stephen King**_

I laid awake that night with my thoughts racing around my head. How did I get here? Why did I have to ignore all the warning signs? I couldn't help but think what was going through Damon's head right now. He hated me. That was a sure thing. How could he not? At this exact moment I couldn't even look in the mirror I was so ashamed. What kind of person does what I did? Who have I become? This wasn't Elena Gilbert. And the worst part is Damon only got to see a few glimpses of that girl. I couldn't have that. I couldn't have him believing that my actions defined me. I was better than that. I wanted to prove it. But how in the world could I do that after all of this has unfolded? How do I convince him that the person who said and did all these horrible things isn't me? And how am I going to even convince myself?

I had called Bonnie back hours after Damon left to figure out that Bonnie and Damon ran into each other at the bar we all met at. She had no idea that he was the guy I had been seeing and he asked about me after a few drinks. Bonnie didn't have control over her mouth when she drank. I already knew this. I couldn't even be mad at her. I made this mess.

I was staring at my phone that laid on my dresser. It was taunting me and before I could even control my actions I had the phone on my hands and was dialing the number to the only person I needed to talk to at this moment. I waited and waited and Damon's phone was ringing and when it went to voicemail I immediately dialed it again. The pattern went on for a few times with no answer. After a couple calls they were starting to be ignored by the first ring. I sighed and promised I would try one more time. I hit call again and surprisingly it wasn't ignored right away. It kept ringing and I was sure I was going to voice mail, the ringing stopped and there was nothing but silence. I looked at my screen to see that I was still connected.

"Damon?" I asked shakily only to get silence in return. It wasn't what I exactly wanted but it was a whole lot better than ignoring my phone call. "There aren't… I can't find the perfect words to be able explain all this. I'm never going to be able to truly make you understand why it all happened. I don't even know if I get it myself. But I would like to try. I need to try. And I also know you aren't going to want to see the sight of me but I'm begging you, for just a few minutes let me say some things… in person." I let out a breath and focused on clearing my throat so my voice wasn't so hoarse anymore. "Just please, if you are listening still, come over. "

The silence remained only to be broken by my phone beeping, saying the line went dead. I should have figured. There was only a small amount of hope left in me as I slowly descended the stairs leading to the living in room. I waited there as I prayed that maybe Damon would come. But as the time ticked by I realized how stupid that was. I wouldn't even come for me. I knew what I had to do. I grabbed my jacket and went running to my car. I didn't care if it was the middle of the night and I didn't care that I was still wearing my pajamas. I just needed to talk to him.

The drive to the boarding house was one of the longest in my life. When I turned the corner to see the house I felt my heart speed up but there was no hesitation. I was going to do this.

I walked up the path to the door and I couldn't stop myself before I started to pound on it.

"Damon I know you are awake!" I shouted, not really thinking about Stefan. "Just please, open up." There was no response as I stood out there. The cold air nipped at my skin and I pounded on the door even harder. I gave up with a groan and I went inside without a second thought and headed straight for the stairs, making my way up them to find Damon's bedroom door instantly. I went in without knocking to find Damon sitting at the end of his bed still in the clothes I saw him in before. "Did you really think I was just going to roll over?" I asked as he looked surprised I actually was there in his room.

"You don't take a hint, do you?" He asked with a scowl on his face.

"What did you expect?"

"For you to leave me alone." He stated as he glared at me while he went to his door and gestured for me to go.

"I am not leaving." I crossed my arms over my chest and did the best to put my stubborn look on.

"Fine, then I will." He went out his door, leaving me with my mouth wide open. I wasn't expecting that. I quickly followed to see him already going down the stairs. He was seriously going to run away from this?

"No." I said while rushing forward to stop him in his tracks. "Give me one minute."

"Why should I? You sure as hell don't deserve it."

"But you do." I added softly.

"How would I be able to believe anything you say?" His tone softened a bit which only urged me on further.

"Because even though our relationship was built on lies, you know there was something there. There is something between us and we both know it's not going to go away." He stared at me with a blank expression on his face and I had no idea how to read him. He never showed any signs as to what he was thinking.

"Caroline came to me in tears." I started, taking advantage of his silence. "She explained all the horrible things you did to her and I felt disgusted by you. I didn't even know you yet and I already assumed exactly what you would be like. You were just like every guy who has hurt a girl. You were just like the guy who ripped my heart out." He flinched a little at my words. "When she asked if I would help her get back at you, I was thinking of my own revenge. I thought it would help me not hurt anymore." What good that ended up doing… "I lied to you."

"I don't like liars."

"I know, but you do the same thing Damon. Can you honestly tell me you haven't hurt someone the way I hurt you?"

"It's not the same Elena. Those girls were flings. You said it yourself, we had something. We had more than what I've ever had with someone my whole life. I trusted you! Then you lied to me, oh and it gets worse, you made me fall in love with you during the process of it all!" There was nothing but silence between us as we were both shocked by his words.

"You said you'd never fall in love again." I whispered, remembering one of our first honest conversations. He let out a bitter laugh and I had to look away from him to hide the tears that were threating to escape.

"I should have listened to myself. What an idiot I look like now." I lifted my gaze back up to him with a confused expression.

"You the idiot?" I laughed at the ridiculousness of it. "I'm the one who threw this all away." I choked out. "I was trying to ease the pain and I ended up causing more of it. I'm so sorry Damon." I didn't even know that I was crying till I felt tears sliding down my cheeks. "I never… I never wanted this. I just wanted you to understand what this pain felt like. I didn't know what you went through. I didn't know your story and I didn't know you were just as screwed up as I am." I tried to control the sobbing but at the moment it was too much to bear without a breakdown. I brought this all on myself. It wasn't Caroline's fault. It wasn't Damon's and it wasn't Bonnies. It was all me.

"Elena…" I saw through my tears a hesitant look on his face as if he didn't know what to do.

"I made a lot of mistakes. The moment I thought our relationship was getting to personal I panicked. I lied about my parents to remember that I couldn't personalize this because it could only end in heartbreak. Little did I know that every moment we spent together I was personalizing it. I did that thing with Stefan because of my own insecurities. I thought if I hurt you first you wouldn't see how much I actually… how much I grew to love you." This time there wasn't any hesitance in his eyes as his arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace. It didn't matter that this was wrong. I shouldn't be consoled right now, in fact I should be getting screamed at and get every insult thrown at me.

I wanted so badly to plead with him to forgive me but as he was holding me I realized I couldn't do that. It was selfish for me to somehow find something redeeming here. It would be asking for too much.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to forgive me. But just know that if I could go back I do so much differently. I would change everything if it meant that I could keep you." I let a breath out as he slowly let go of me with an expression I couldn't quite figure out. "I have to go." Panic suddenly surged through me as fear of what he would say would tear me apart. I rushed to the door leaving Damon at the end of the stairs.

"I just need some time." He said and I suddenly stopped from fleeing. "A lot of time." I turned around to slowly to look at him. My mind wasn't controlling my body as I walked back to him. I leaned up on my tippy toes to gently kiss his cheek trying to tell myself this wasn't goodbye even though there was a huge chance that it was.

"Bye Damon." I whispered as I made my way out of the boarding house. Maybe time was what we both needed.

**_AN: Next chap will be the last and there will be a bit of a time jump. I know it is going to be somewhat short as well. Thanks for reading. _**

**_Review:)_**


	15. A Much Needed Fresh Start

_**Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.**_

_**-Washington Irving**_

* * *

><p><strong>8 Months Later<strong>

The atmosphere was calm as the music played in the distant background and the dancing went on. I watch them all as the couples varied from the elderly to teenagers. Everyone seemed so happy. They all seemed to have it all figured out. I cringed when I saw an older couple kiss each other and looked away to focus on the glass of champagne in my hand. I was tired of them all mocking me. I was officially done with this. Who cared about these stupid town events anyway. I walked over the open bar and ordered a stronger drink.

"Elena, isn't this the best." Caroline squealed next to me while dragging along Stefan Salvatore.

"Yea." I added trying to be enthusiastic but it didn't really come off that way. Caroline had a lot to do with getting this party ready and I didn't want my bad mood to rub off in the wrong way. I just couldn't deal with all these couples being shoved in my face. I guess you could say I was a tad bitter when it came to PDA. I was jealous. I had sworn off guys for months, knowing I needed a break. But now that I've finally accepted I was tired of being alone, it's like cupid went on a frenzy and forgot about me. "The party is great. This is my favorite part." I said while pointing to the bar.

"Yea, you and someone else apparently." I turned around to see who they were pointing to, to see Damon at the end of the bar completely oblivious to me. I turned back to them with wide eyes as I freaked out. What do I do? Do I say hello? Do I avoid him? There was no perfect thing to do in this situation.

"Hide me." I said while going in between them and ducking down.

"Don't be silly Elena." Caroline said while grabbing my arm and dragging me back into his view point. "It has been eight months. You both needed time and you had it. Now is your chance to be happy."

"What are you talking about? I know I have had enough time but I don't know about him. He had more things to dwell on than I did. I'm the one who screwed it all up."

"Elena things have changed. I'm with Stefan now, you graduated college, Damon is finally taking over the Salvatore business and things are good. Before none of us were in a good place. Take your chance." Caroline said while giving me an encouraging smile. Were we in a good place? Wouldn't I be somehow screwing it up. There would be no way I would be opening that can of worms.

"I'm just going to go... somewhere else."

I avoided the area of the bar for a very long time but it was inevitable that I had to go back when I realized my clutch was missing. The last I remembered having it was at the bar.

"Hey, excuse me." I said to the bartender. "Have you seen a blue clutch. I think I left it here on the counter." When he shook his head no, I sighed and sat back down on the chair. Where could it be?

"Looking for this?" I looked up to see the blue clutch in someone hand and I immediately went to thank them till the eyes that connected with mine was the person I had been avoiding all along.

"Thank you." I said hesitantly, not knowing what other thing there was to say.

"I'm Damon. Damon Salvatore." He held out his hand and I immediately knew the angle he was playing. "And you are?"

"Elena Gilbert." I took his hand in mine as he gently brought it up to his lips to kiss it gently. I watched this action carefully as he gently let go of my hand.

"It is nice to meet you Elena Gilbert."

"Nice to meet you too." I whispered.

"Would you like to dance." I couldn't hold back the grin that spread across my face.

"I would love to." He took my hand again and led me to the dance floor.

If there was anything that Damon and I needed, it was a fresh start.

_**AN: The End. **_

_**I told you it was going to be short. I got to say thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoyed this huge rollercoaster of a story. **_

_**Review one last time:)**_


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